Dalelorenzo's GDI Blog
6Apr/210

coworker is writing a dissertation on our boss being a narcissist, using social media comments to get a job, and more

This post, coworker is writing a dissertation on our boss being a narcissist, working social media comments to get a job, and more, was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Now we go...

1. Coworker concludes our manager is a narcissist and is doing her exposition on it

I am part of a very small team, it’s really me, my colleague, and our administrator. Our manager( John) ousted our previous director( Pete) at the start of this year. All my fellow members( Sarah) and Pete are really good friends, and Sarah was quite unhappy when he was replaced. It was necessary due to slip-ups he made, though.

Sarah and John do not like one another. Harmonizing to Sarah, John was shooting for Pete’s position and used immoral tricks to get wise. I was not aware of it and I simply have her command for it. They have also clashed due to communication methods and personality gaps. Sarah says he does not fit in with the culture. Our office has a really tightened culture and booze regularly plays a role, but John doesn’t drink and is seen as stuck-up.

I have not had the same suffers with John. I think he is a really good manager. He might not go out and drink wine with us, but he sanctions me and he listening to me. I check him as more of a mentor than a manager.

Sarah recently started accompanying a therapist, and apparently her psychiatrist conceives our overseer is a narcissist.( Can a analyst diagnose person like that? Is it even morally acceptable ?) She presented Sarah some substances to read, and Sarah agrees with the diagnosis. Sarah is getting a psychology grade and made the decision to do her thesi on narcissists in the workplace. She’s very excited about it and runs around telling everyone about it, also saying she got the idea after months of affliction. Everyone is aware she doesn’t get along with John, and it isn’t that difficult to figure out she might be referring to him.

Sarah did go to HR about her unhappiness, and she is being moved to another persona in the organization. I am embarrassing with her dissertation, though. Obviously in her private faculty she can draw the subject whatever she is intended to, but implying that he is a narcissist without any real proof doesn’t feel good. Can I do anything about it? Must I warn John? Go to HR?

Dear lord. Sarah sounds like a problem in variou channels( including saying someone’s not a culture fit because they don’t drink -- !?). Unfortunately, I don’t think you’re well positioned to do much about it, but it sure wouldn’t hurt to let John know what’s happening so he can figure out if he needs to do anything to protect himself. It also wouldn’t hurt to tip off HR and tell them know you’ve had excellent knowledge with John so far. Sarah sounds like she’s truly out to take John down, and there’s value in HR hearing another point of view.

Also, when you hear Sarah badmouthing John, ideally you'd speak up and say, “That hasn’t been my experience with John at all. I’ve noticed him to be a really good manager.” It’s handy for her to get that pushback, and it’s even more useful for the people she’s talking to to know that Sarah’s viewpoint isn’t universally shared.

( And no, ethical psychiatrists will not diagnose someone they haven't analyse .)

2. Trying to mobilize social media comments to get a job

A professional acquaintance( we work for different agencies in the same state government, and have had a couple conversations at episodes for a professional organization we both is a matter for) is applying for a new job with another state agency. He announced a comment on the agency's LinkedIn post announcing the job opening and said that he had applied, and since then he's been reaching out to seemingly everyone he knows asking them to like his statement and share a comment of their own on that LinkedIn post with their supporter. So far, he has amassed more than 150 criticisms in support.

He's just reached out to me asking questions a like and a comment as well. Because we work in government, hiring is supposed to be strictly merit-based and this kind of crowdsourced social media reinforcement is not something a hiring manager can consider when making a hiring decision. I find the whole thing unusually improper, and even if I wanted to support him I've never is cooperating with him and I certainly wouldn't be able to speak to any of his qualifications. How should I invent a response -- and what should I think of everyone I know who has exited along with this and posted specific comments in his support?

This is an peculiar policy. Even outside of government, when hiring managers could theoretically take these sorts of social media assistance into account, hiring isn't a popularity contest where the person who gets the most likes on their mention prevails the job. And in a lot of organizations the people make the hiring are completely separate from the people doing the social media and wouldn’t even know this was happening ... and if they did, it might get a candidate noticed in a bad way.

Anyway. You is able to reject any such requests. It doesn’t sounds like the two of you talk much, so I don’t think you need to give an explanation. As for what to think of the people who have gone along with it ... probably just that they want to get do a feel-good kind of thing for him without being particularly invested in whether it was a good or bad idea.

3. Our company will refund us for engineering acquisitions ... in seven months

Our company has been fully remote for a full time, and in that time, employees have been on our own to figure out what to do about office supplies needed to do our jobs. Then today, our HR team sent out an email related to this that I'm sure they felt was well-intentioned, but precisely feels like a slap in the face.

The big-hearted announcement is that the house is providing all staff a $250 technology reimbursement to be used towards office supplies, and provisioned a register of relevant components, such as printers, paper/ ink, keyboards/ mice, headsets, chairs, and laptop stands.

However, this comes with two major caveats. The first is that this does not apply retroactively to anything that we may have already purchased, and the second is that we will not be reimbursed this coin until NOVEMBER of this year, although they could not say exactly when. The teaches essentially said, hold on to the the revenues and we'll let you know when it's time to submit them.

At this time, many of us have recently been spent quite a bit out of pocket for necessary items, and are now being told that it will exclusively are available for pieces acquired going forward. Frankly, I don't need anything anymore -- I previously bought a mouse, printer, ink, paper, etc ., all so I could do my job when they didn't provide us with any initial guidance.

I am sure they are expecting an outpouring of gratitude, but it feels like too little, too late. Additionally, what if folks can't open to swim the company $ 250 without being refunded for eight months? It just seems super out of touch. At this moment, I don't even want to take advantage of it because it feels super vague and poorly thought out, and I'm worried we'll get to November and they will reject my refund claim for some reason, and then I'll be out of pocket for something I wouldn't have undoubtedly bought. What do you think?

Yeah, this is crappy. As you noted, people who needed those components probably already bought them on their own; ideally they’d be willing to reimburse you for those working. And asking you to wait until November to get refunded for purchases now ... what if you’re no longer working there in November?

Your employer is saving a good deal of fund by not having employees on-site, and they’ve apparently changed the cost of equipment and renders over to you as well ... and now are uttering it more difficult than it needs to be to get some of that reimbursed. It's a bad arrangment.

4. Client always spells my figure wrong

I work at a company that works countless local and national purchasers. One of the customer in my portfolio onboarded with our fellowship a year ago and I have had any number of communications with various representatives regarding their particular section of the business.

There is one client representative who has spelled my specify incorrectly every ... single ... age they connected to me.

My name is pretty common, mull Michelle or Sarah, but they ever spell my figure with the alternative mean, conclude Michele/ Sara. The correct and more common spelling of my specify is in my signature. In addition, I am mimicked on letter where others have spelled my identify accurately and more this person still addresses me with the alternative mean of my name.

This client is VERY important to my company's bottom line and it has been said more than formerly that they are the ones stopping the doors open, so I have been indecisive to make a stink about what should be a non-issue ... but it is my NAME! Would it be bad form after a year to tell this person they have been spelling my specify wrong? I don't want to cause issues with my fellowship if this person gets offended, but after a year, it kills me a little bit every time I examine my honour misspelled in letter directed to me because I feel like that isn't me if that impels sense.

There’s no suffering in “by the way, it’s Sarah( with an h )! ” But if that doesn’t get through, you’re better off trying to let it roll off of you. As someone whose name is constantly misspelled, my quality of life is way better from really deciding not to care about it. Some beings are bad with reputations or bad at spell, or they know someone who incantations it the other way and so it’s locked in their chief that way.

This is a client , not a spouse or a parent or someone else who you'd presumably expect to be invested in getting it right.

5. What does it means that a errand I’m interviewing for keeps getting reposted?

I applied for an open entry-level position through LinkedIn about a week ago. I successfully went through the phone interview and planned an in-person interview later the coming week( yay !). I noticed on LinkedIn that this job has been reposted a second time, and now that post is no longer taking applications. Now I’ve look they affixed the commencement of the again for a third hour. What does this make?

No good will come from trying to read anything into that. It could just be that they keep their job posts active until the position is filled( which is very common ), and sporadically refresh them during that time so they don’t ogle stale( also common ). Or who knows, perhaps they aren’t completely satisfied with their applicant pool and want to increase it -- which wouldn’t necessarily demonstrate anything about the strength of your candidacy since most hiring administrators want to have multiple strong campaigners in the concoction. Basically, it’s inconceivable to know what’s behind it from the outside, and there’s no point in trying to parse it out; this sort of thing will drive you out of your gourd if you dwell on it too much.

You may also like: my coworker remains communicating junior staff to relay meanings for hermy boss asked me if she should shoot my coworker and then shed me for the purposes of the busis it rude to ask resigning employees where they’re leading ?

Read more: askamanager.org

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