Dalelorenzo's GDI Blog
8Jul/210

Going through a divorce? Don’t Do Anything Stupid!

People going through a divorce do stupid things. It’s not a cut down and I’m not trying to be injurious, it’s simply reality. Trust me, when I was newly separated, I did more stupid things than anyone else I know.

Why the stupid things? Because going through a divorce is extremely difficult. It's an emotional, traumatic, distressing and unbelievably creepy era, and all those emotional mutates motive parties to temporarily become different people.

An otherwise confident, stable person can temporarily turn into an insecure, psychological mess who is always unsure of him or herself and who can’t seem to do anything right. Because of the anxieties, the instability and the lack of self-worth, people are able to impel bad alternatives. It represents an opportunity of weakness and extreme vulnerability.

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I recently discovered the history of a divorced woman who told me that when she was separated last year, she had a few glass of wine-colored one night and left a long voice message on her soon-to-be ex’s voice mail, exercising various four note words and spewing out threats.

Her ex’s attorney dallied the voicemail in field and it was extremely damaging. In the end, her ex went full incarceration of their own children. Ugh. That cause me sick to hear. Why? Because I know this woman personally and she didn't deserve that. This scenario could happen to anyone, which is why people going through a divorce certainly have to be careful. I detest to say it, but when you're going through a divorce, you are sort of on trial. You're being judged, you have to walk on eggshells. It can feel like you are being evaluated as a parent and you have to prove yourself. It's not fair, but it's reality.

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When beings are going through a divorce, they sometimes act a little crazy. I know I did. One darknes earlier today, I had a couple glass of wine-coloured( without eating anything) and drove dwelling. I got plucked over( thank God I didn't get a DUI ). Since then, I have never had more than one potion if I know I'm driving.

Other crazy/ stupid things I did while going through a divorce were: I got into a toxic relationship with a chap who discussed me like poop, I binge ate, I imbibe a good deal and called my sweethearts crying, and I cease a high-paying job. I could go on and on.

People going through a divorce do things that are so out of character because they truly don’t know who they are momentarily. They've lost a sense of themselves. They are in chaos and unchartered area. They don't know how to be themselves because the whole world as they know it has changed. It's like you're just trying to figure out what you're supposed to do now, AND you're trying to soothe the immense pain you are feeling every minute of every day, so whatever you feel you have to do at that moment, you do it.

Here's the good news. That state of mind doesn't last very long. For me, it only lasted a few months. I then recognized if I continued on this path that I would spoil my life and my children' animations .

Here are some STUPID things you shouldn’t do if you are going through a divorce( or EVER !)

1. Leave a voicemail word for ANYONE after you’ve been drinking or ANYTIME,( even if you are sober) that might dye you in an unflattering light.

2. Send an email or verse that you wouldn’t crave a reviewer or your ex’s advocate to see.

3. Drink and Drive.

4. Talk gravely about your ex in front of your kids.

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5. Talk severely about your ex to beings in your community.

6. Send an email or verse to your ex really quickly when you are upset or right after you get bad news from your attorney about the case.

7. Call your advocate for every little detail or to complain or volcano. That's what a healer or Divorced Girl Smiling is for!

8. Change your standards when it comes to dating and how gentlemen/ maidens treat you.

9. Take treats or booze too to try to numb your feeling or anguish. There are so many other wonderful options for that, including working out, yoga, faith, and doing things you love.

10. Threaten your ex.

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11. Tear up old photos or throw away marriage mementoes. You'll regret it later.

12. Do anything out of spite or just to motive your ex sting or to anger him/ her.

I don't think I have to tell anyone reading this how difficult going through a divorce really is. It's incredibly unpleasant, and still, 14 year later, when I look back on that time in my life, I can still vividly be remembered that fresh pain.

Here's the good news. You are in the thick of things, and although it might seem like things are never going to change, I predict they will! You just have to try to be patient, and become HEALTHY selects when you are feeling like you need something. For precedent, during a extremely very stressful moment, instead of downing a glass of wine, engage in deep breathing and meditation. Instead of calling your ex and screaming at him or her, go for a jog or write in a journal.

I indeed think everyone will do some stupid things while going through a divorce. It’s okay and various kinds of unavoidable. And, it's temporary. But the key is not to do anything damaging because there could be real causes, developing in things you will regret forever.

Like such articles? Check out, " 20 Things I Choose I Could Have Told My Newly Separated Self "

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The post Going through a divorce? Don't Do Anything Stupid ! materialized first on Divorce Blog | Divorce Support Blogs.

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