And now we are 52…
On this day in 1969, babe J.D. entered the world. I don’t think there’s any style my parents have had an opportunity to predicted the direction their firstborn would make through live. It hasn’t always been easy — no thanks to the obstacles I’ve placed in my own action — but I’ve really had a wonderful( and interesting) man, and I look forward to whatever period is left me.
As I do every year now at Get Rich Slowly, I’m going to commemorate my birthday by sharing some of the most important things I’ve learned during my duration on Earth. These are the most important fragments of my life philosophy.
Let’s start with a look at the core takeaway from my 52 nd year, the newest addition to being able to my life philosophy.
What I Learned During My 52 nd Year
This past year, specially, has been an interesting one. I know that’s true for countries around the world, but I personally have known a great deal of proliferation over the last twelve months. It’s been a seriously introspective year.
If you were following along, you could see me process some of this introspection in real occasion, both now on the blog and at the Get Rich Slowly channel on YouTube.
In July, I wrote that I am the one thing in animation I can ensure. In August, I wrote about eliminating net negatives( or trying to ). In October, I wrote about the pursuit of quality. And just a few weeks ago, I wrote about the power of low-grade expectations.
What I’ve realise in recent weeks is that all of these Deep Thoughts seem to be a manifestation of the same fundamental problem in my life: my ADHD. For years, I believed I had ADHD. In 2012, my healer established it. In holding talks with my M.D ., my healer prescribed a medication( Vyvanse) that I was meant to take every day. I detest the side effects, though, so I never did. I took it simply as needed.
But in searching for answers seeing my ongoing hollow and nervousnes, I’ve come to understand that these two debilitating mental illnesses are truly be caused by ADHD. My inability to focus contributes me to become overwhelmed. When I become overwhelmed, I get stressed. When I get stressed, I get anxious and depressed.
It all seems obvious today, but it was never self-evident before.
Anyhow, I’ve start taking my Vyvanse regularly. Today is the sixth day in a row that I’ve applied it. It seems to be helping. Meanwhile, I’ve been trying to practice mindfulness in everyday life. Plus, Kim and I are taking some big steps( to be discussed here in the coming weeks) to alleviate some of the things that overtake me on a regular basis.
Coming to clutches given the fact that my ADHD is more pronounced than I concluded( and that it’s probably the source of so many of the things that bring me suffering) has been eye-opening. As I scrutinized such lists, for instance, I was surprised at just how many patches of my logic directly restrained to ADHD coping mechanisms. It’s crazy.
So, the biggest lesson I learned this year is the age-old maxim: know thyself. As far as possible, know what moves you click — and how that are harmful to your goals, wars, and relationships.
My Life Philosophy
Before we dive into the rest of my life philosophy, I want to prepare something clear: I am no wiser or smarter than anybody else. And I’m certainly best available. But I am an individual.
I’m my own being with my own personal advantages and personal experiences. These have all jumbled together over the past 52 times to give me a unique position on lifetime( just as you have a unique perspective on living ). To excerpt my favorite lyric 😛 TAGEND
Much have I examined and known; cities of men And natures, climates, councils, governments, Myself not least, but honour’d of them all; And drunkard satisfy of battle with my peers, Far on the ringing plains of breezy Troy. I am an integrated part of all that I have met…
So, these 52 nuggets of knowledge are things I’ve found to be true for me — and, I speculate, for most other beings.( But each of us is different. What works for me may not work for you .) These faiths make up the core of my personal philosophy of life.
Some of these meanings are original to me. Some aren’t. When I’ve acquired something, I’ve done my best to cite my beginning.( And I’ve tried to cite the oldest source I can find. Bunches of folks borrow opinions from each other. There’s nothing new under the sun and all that .)
Here are 52 principles I’ve found to be true during my 52 times on this planet. I’ll head with this year’s brand-new addition.
Know thyself. All of us are similar, but each of us is different. It’s these differences that constitute us unique mortals. It’s up to you to discover your strongs( and weaknesses ), to figure out what’s important to you, to planned your own course through this life. Taking time periodically to re-asses what stimulates you tick is an essential part of building a life that allows you to flourish. Adoration yourself. All my life, I’ve fought with low self-esteem. There ought to have seasons when I’ve detested myself. Recent years have been especially tough for me as feeling and depression proved to be crippling for months on end. Working with a healer facilitated. She cured me to understand that it’s important to learn to both acquire myself and enjoy myself — even though, like everyone, I’m imperfect. I still have a long way to go, but I’m making progress. Self-care comes first. If you’re not healthful, it’s tough to be happy. Before you can take care of your friends and your family, you need to take care of yourself. Eat well. Exercise. Nurture your memory, mas, and being. Your body is a temple; receiving treatment like one. If you don’t have your state, you’ve got nothing. You get what you dedicate. Your outer life is a reflection of your internal soul. If you think the world is a shitty place, the world is going to be a shitty place. If you think beings are out to get you, people will be out to get you. But if you believe parties are basically good, you’ll find that this is true wherever you go. Man is like a lottery. You receive tickets every time you try new things and match new people. Most of these gamble tickets won’t have a pay-out, and that’s okay. But every now and then, you’ll hit the jackpot. The more “youre playing” — the more you say ” yes” to new friends and brand-new knowledge — the more often you’ll win. You can’t win if you don’t play. That said, however … Luck is no coincidence. What we think of as blessing has almost nothing to do with randomness and almost everything to do with attitude. Lucky beings watch for — and take advantage of — opportunities. They listen to their impression. They know how to” flunk forward”, making good out of bad.[ Via the book Luck is No Accident .] Don’t try to change others.” Strives to modify others are rarely successful, and even then are probably not perfectly slaking ,” Harry Browne wrote in How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World.” To admit others as they are doesn’t mean you have to give into them or put up with them. You are sovereign. You own your own world. You can choose…There are millions of beings out there in the world; you have a lot more to choose from than just what you see in front of you now .” Don’t allow others to try to change you. Again from How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World:” You are free to live your life as you want…The demands and pleases of others don’t power your life. You do. You see the decisions…There are thousands of people who wouldn’t ask that you bend yourself out of shape to please them. There are people who will want you to be yourself, people who encounter things as you do, people who want the same things you want. Why should you have to waste your life in a vain effort to please those with whom you aren’t compatible ?”
Be impeccable with your word. Be honest — with yourself and others. If you promise to do something, make love. When someone asks you a question, tell the truth. Practice what you preach. Avoid gossip.[ This is directly from Don Miguel’s The Four Agreements .] Don’t take things personally. When beings blame you and your acts, it’s not about you — it’s about them. They can’t know what it’s like to be you and live your life. When you take things personally, you’re allowing others to control your life and your delight. Heed the Arab proverb: The dogs bark but the caravan is moving forward .[ This is also one of The Four Agreements .] Don’t make assumptions. The flip side of not making things personally is to not assume you know what’s going on in other people’s intelligences. Don’t assume you know the motivations for their actions. Exactly as their actuality doesn’t indicate your actuality, your life is not theirs. Give parties the benefit of the doubt.[ Another of The Four Agreements .] Always do your best. Your best varies from moment to moment. Some dates in the gym, for instance, I’m able to lift heavier heaviness than on other periods. Some eras I can run faster than usual; some eras, I’m slower. That’s okay. What matters most is that I open my best effort every time. No matter what you do, do it as well as you are eligible to. This is one of the keys to success and merriment.[ This is the last of The Four Agreements .] Effort subjects more than skill or flair.” Effort counts twice ,” quarrels Angela Duckworth in Grit: The Capability of Passon and Perseverance. Skill, she says, is talent proliferated by try. The more you do what you’re good at, the better you get. But accomplishment is the product of skill proliferated by try. Effort counts twice.( This may be why psychologists say it’s better to praise your child’s efforts instead of her upshots. Praise her for expend experience on her homework , not because she got an A .) Embrace the shortcomings. If you do “whats right”, and you do the very best, then there’s no reason to feel bad about the outcome. Nobody’s perfect. Don’t beat yourself up if you manufacture misunderstandings. And don’t sweat it if other beings get upset with you too. If you’re doing the best you can, that’s good enough. The perfect is the enemy of the good . Too many parties never get started because they don’t know that the “best” first step is. You don’t know the best guitar, so you never learn to play. You don’t know which Spanish book is best, so you never learn to speak. You don’t know how to bench press, so you never go to the gym. Don’t worry about getting things exactly right — time select a good option and do something to get started. There’s no single “right” way to achieve success. Each of us is different. We have different aims, personalities, and events. We each need to find the tools and techniques that are effective for our own places. There’s no one right way to eat, enjoy, pray, or pay off debt. Don’t conceive anyone who tells you there is. Experiment until you find approaches that are effective for you.( Note, however, that there are wrong ways to do these things — steer clear of self-evident bad hand-pickeds .) Be present in the moment. Accept life for what it is, without labels or arbitration. Yield to phenomena; don’t block them. Go with the flow. Nothing exists outside the moment: Don’t dwell on the past or have concerns about the future. Enhance the quality of the here and now. When you got something, do that thing. When you’re with someone, be with them. Don’t multitask. Put away the smartphone or the computer or the book. Be all there.[ This is an ancient concept impelled popular by The Power of Now .] Spirituality is personal. The libido for one person( or group) to impose her( or their) ideas on others is the source of much of this world’s strife. Believe what you want, and cause others do the same.” There is no need for synagogues , no need for involved thinkings. My brain and stomach are my synagogues; my logic is kindness .” — the Dalai Lama Be skeptical — but save an open attention. Don’t believe everything you sounds — from others and from your own internal self-talk. Practice healthy agnosticism. But remain an open intellect. Don’t automatically assume that everything is fake or false. Do your best to analyze the things you attend and sounds to determine whether they actually make sense. Don’t yuck someone else’s yum . Just because you don’t like something doesn’t mean it’s bad. Pursue your fascinations, and tell others pursue theirs. If you don’t like something, fine. Don’t make a big deal about it. You can’t foreclose every possible thing from going wrong. Don’t even try. Instead, learn to deal effectively with minor questions. You’ll develop self-confidence, which will lead to an increased willingness to take calculated likelihoods.( Similarly, you can’t realize everyone looks just like you. It’s mad to try .) Be adaptable. Goals are good, but single-minded devotion to a destination can often blind a person to other opportunities. And it’s a mistake to cling to one track out of sense of obligation. If you open rule clas and discover you dislike it, then discontinue. Don’t endure years of misery because you feel like it’s expected of you. That’s dumb. You have more options than you think, but you may need to slow down and open your eyes in order to see them. Be promoting. Support the innovative, positive actions of others. There are a lot of people out there who want to tell others what’s wrong with their actions, why the things they just wanted to do can’t be done. They’re speedy to criticize small-minded misconceptions instead of admiring the greater effort. Don’t be this lane. Do what you can — in ways both big and small — to help others achieve their goals.[ Taken from Action Girl’s Guide to Living .]
You are the author of your life . Everyone has a narration they want to tell you about yourself. Society tries to push a” standard narrative” on us about how living should get going. Ignore these narrations. If you don’t like the fib you’re living, it’s up to you to change the plan. You didn’t write the beginning of your storey, but you have the power to choose the ending. Choose and escapade you desire instead of one that builds you unhappy. You don’t need assent. When we’re young, we wait for our parents and educators to say it’s okay to do the things we are intending to do. As young adults, you don’t need dispensation from anybody else. Do you want to quit your job and pas the world? Do it. Do you want to learn how to journey a motorcycle? Do it. Don’t wait for somebody else to give you the go-ahead. You are the only one who needs to give yourself were permitted to do these things. Don’t gave suspicion guide your decision-making process. My girlfriend Kim told me this on one of our first dates, and it resembles something my auditor formerly told me. He says that too many beings make money moves based solely on the tax backlashes. “That’s dumb,” he “ve been told”.” You should do what you crave because you just wanted to , not because of the tax reached .” This applies in all aspects of life. Make decisions based on what you want to do. Move toward something , not away from something. Activity panaceas panic. Thought establishes anxiety; act medicines it. What we’re actually afraid of is the unknown. We like certainty, and choosing to do something with an indeterminate aftermath attains us hesitant. Taking the first step can be scary, but each added stair becomes easier and easier. When you act, you remove the mystery. Action composes confidence. It procreates incitement.( Most people feel motivating comes before action. They’re wrong. Action develops motivating .)[ This is an old opinion but this phrasing is from The Magic of Thinking Big .] Action is character. If you never did anything, you wouldn’t be anybody. Superman is a superhero because he does daring things , not because he speaks of doing them. And a columnist is a writer because she writes , not because she talks about writing. What we say doesn’t matter; it’s what we do that countings. We is something we repeatedly do.[ From F. Scott Fitzgerald’s notes on The Last Tycoon .] You’re more likely to dejection the things you don’t do than the things you do. That’s not to say you should be an asshole, or that you won’t regret clearing great mistake. But generally speaking, you’re more likely to be sorry that you didn’t introduce yourself to the barista at the coffeehouse, didn’t depart bungee-jumping with your best friend, didn’t stay in touch with your friends.[ This is the central intuition in The Top Five Sadness of the Dying .] Give without the expectation of return. Help other people — even if it expenditure a bit of money or epoch. Don’t always expect a fiscal payoff. Don’t get offended if your effort isn’t acknowledged or appreciated. Help because it’s the right thing to do , not because you want to be noticed. When good things happen to people you are familiar with, help them celebrate. Their success does not diminish you. Be happy when your best friend and family achieve something cool. If a co-worker gets a parent, be supportive and not envious. Approach life as if it were a win-win game. Because it is. Joyou beings almost never criticize, says Steven Pressfield in The War of Art.” If they speak at all ,” he writes,” it’s to offer inspiration .” This is true in my own experience, as well. Being contemptuous and cutting doesn’t mean that you’re smarter than the people around you. Most of the time, it simply means you’re an asshole. And that results me to the next lesson … Staying in a relationship out of a sense of obligation or tendernes is not a good reason. Sometimes you really do have to walk away — from a alliance, from a family member, even from a nostalgic marriage. Yours isn’t the only story in this world; sometimes it’s better to be somebody else’s villain than to shape yourself sad. You have the freedom to choose how you respond to any event. In the classic Man’s Search for Meaning, Victor Fankl writes,” Everything can be taken from a humanity but one thing: the last of human liberties — to choose one’s attitude in any afforded designate of circumstances, to choose one’s own style .” He located this logic on his personal experience in a Nazi concentration camp. When that prick slashes you off on the road, you get to choose if you’ll get angry or give him the benefit of the doubt. When you get stuck behind the old lady in line at the food market, it’s up to you how to respond. When those stupid adolescents next door vandalize your lawn, you get to choose how you feel about it. You’ll be happier if you focus on efforts and attention merely on the things you can control. Each of us has a large number of things about which we’re concerned: our health, our kinfolk, my best friend, our chores; world affairs, the plight of the poor, the terrorist threat, the present political atmosphere. Within that Circle of Concern, there’s a smaller subset of things over which we have actual, direct controller: how much we practise, what time we go to bed, whether “were leaving” for work on time; what we eat, where we live, with whom we entertain. You’ll be happier and more productive if you dedicate yourself to your Circle of Control and dismiss your Circle of Concern.[ This notion is part of Julian Rotter’s social-learning theory of temperament, but was disseminated by Stephen Covey in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People .]
You can have anything you demand — but you can’t got everything you demand . Everything is a trade-off. You have limited resources. When you decide to spend — go, fund, brainwidth — on one thing, you’re too selecting not to be allocated to others. Do your best to spend only on the things that matter most to you. Don’t really return a rat’s ass about Big Bang Theory? Then why are you watching it? Spend your time and exertion on something you do be concerned about. Utter chamber for the large-hearted rocks firstly. It’s easy to let your time and exertion be sucked up by unimportant errands and chores. You find you no longer have opening for the things you thought were most important. Don’t do that. Always carve out era and notice for those people and activities you appreciate most. If the house doesn’t get clean because you were hanging out with a friend, so what? If you didn’t mow the lawn because you went to the gym instead, that’s a good thing. Tackle the important, then the trivial. If you wish to avoid feeling devastated, create boundary in their own lives. Simplicity delivers treaty. Numerous beings have tried to beat this into my thought over the years, but it wasn’t until I predict The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up that I genuinely understood. Every item you own, every meeting you schedule, every email you receive — every indebtednes in their own lives carries both mystic and physical value. Traveling in an RV for fifteen months, I “ve learned to” cherish owning very little. It was freeing! And it was freeing very to not be a slave to a schedule. As much as you can, constructed boundary into your life so that you can feel nonviolent and free. Be your own advocate. Don’t be afraid to ask what you miss and what you need — peculiarly if it’s improve. Too often, we contend in silence when we could perform our lives better simply by inviting a few questions or two. Better to look ignorant for a moment than to remain ignorant for a lifetime. Don’t wait for others to solve your problems. Be proactive. Find rebuts. Take action. Learn to help yourself. It’s ever best to be proactive. In life, there are often default options. If you don’t consciously and deliberately select something different, you get the default. When this happens, their own lives conditions you instead of you influencing your life. Most people “re going through” their entire lives in default mode. They professed what soul paws them without question. They’re reactive. Choose to be proactive instead. If you don’t cause your own goals, somebody else will place them for you. Quality tools can fix lifetime better. For years, I equated low cost with smart expend. Now I know that’s not always the case. Now, I’m willing to spend to buy high-quality things when I know I’ll use them all the time. I have high-quality boots, for instance, and an expensive computer. I’m okay with that. I go everywhere I run, so the boots are worth it. And my computer is my livelihood. The expense is worth it because it realise driving a glee. For components worked daily, buy the best. If you don’t abuse it often, of if it’s not important to you, buy the cheapest possible. The definition of life is the meaning you decide to give it. Some beings are searchers. They wander through life-time looking for answers…but rarely find them. Others acquired without question what an outside jurisdiction tells them is true. I believe that the meaning of life comes from within, from the things that you lean to prioritize and significance. Nobody is going to tell you what animation should “ve been meaning to” you; you have to decide that for yourself. You are the boss of you . Your circumstances had not been able to your glitch, but they’re your responsibility. Don’t blame anyone or anything else for your place, and don’t expect somebody else to rescue you. If you don’t like wherever you, resolve to do what it takes to make a change. Don’t compare yourself to others. I preach this often at Get Rich Slowly. Comparing yourself to others is counter-productive. Generally one of two things happens: You either feel shitty because you’re not as good as the other person, or “youre feeling” superior because they’re not as good as you. In actuality , nobody is better than anybody else. We’re just different. If you want to compare yourself, equate Present You to Past You — and do what you can to start Future You a better form of why you are today. You can’t get rid of a bad dres; you can only change it.” You can never rightfully extinguish bad attires ,” writes Charles Duhigg in The Power of Habit.” Rather, to change a habit, you must keep the age-old cue, and deliver the old payoff, but put a brand-new programme .” He calls this the Golden Rule of Habit Change. To vary your dres curve, you have to do something different when the habit is triggered. Let me give you two examples: I used to be a stress-eater. I’d ingest junk food — and a lot of it — any time I had a deadline or a conflict with a friend. The achievement of dining deadened my sentiment. The stress was the clue( the provoke ), and the move was the reinforce. No surprise, this dres realized me fatty. I’ve managed to( predominantly) modification the practice loop-the-loop by path instead of eating. Now if I get accentuated, I go for a tread. I get a similar haste for a compensation, but my actions are healthier. Positive reinforcement is strong. When Tahlequah performs a desired behavior — sitting, coming when announced, being nice to the “cat-o-nine-tails” — we honor her. She learns to connect the plow with the actions we wants, and becomes more likely to offer them…even when we don’t reward her. What’s true for hounds is true for parties extremely. Does nagging your marriage actually drive? Probably not.( In fact, it was likely has the opposite effect you plan !) But if you honor the behavior your require, you’ll eventually see it offered without prompting. The same thing is true with children, co-workers, own family members, and so on.[ This is a fundamental principle of psychology. An excellent root for more info is Don’t Shoot the Dog .]
Create your own certainty. Don’t allow yourself to be dependent on the choices and actions of others. I announce this” Michelle’s Law” after my friend who educated it to me. But I have another friend — Jenn — who talks about” ensuring success “. When she’s working on something important, whether it’s a relationship or a vacation, she always follows up to make sure that what she expects to happen will happen. This philosophy is akin to the idea that you should trust, but attest. Elect merriment. Do work and play that raises fulfillment. Spend time with people who build you up , not those who bring you( and others) down. Strip from your life the things that take time, coin, and vigor, but which do not bring you joy. Focus on the essentials. Time is more valuable than money . You can always conclude more money…but you can’t construct more age. This isn’t permission to spend lavishly on anything and everything just because you might get hit by a truck tomorrow. It is, however, an invitation to consider what’s important to you and to focus on that. It’s succour to get clearly defined your personal mission statement and to build your life around it. It’s never too late to be great. It takes time to achieve anything worthwhile. But merely because you haven’t started yet — or haven’t reached the level your aiming for — doesn’t mean you can’t or won’t make it happen. Don’t be daunted by bold purposes. Are you fifty and want to run a marathon? Start training. Are you sixty and only now thinking of retirement? That’s okay. Better late than never. Are you seventy and want to write a novel? Do it. History is filled with examples of kinfolks who achieve great things later in life.[ This argument is stimulated persuasively by Tom Butler-Bowdon in his book, Never Too Late to Be Great .] Be yourself. This is the most important thing I’ve learned during my 52 years of life. For too long, I tried to please others. I tried to be and do the things I thought they wanted me to be and do. As a arise, I was unfortunate. And most of the time, my activities didn’t have the research results I thought they would. They didn’t procreate others like me any better. Instead of trying to please others , now I’m just me. I’m honest about who I am and what I demand. Maybe some of my old friends don’t like who I’ve become. That’s okay. I’ve constitute slew of people who do like who I am. “Everybody is talented, original and has something important to say .” — Barbara Ueland, If You Want to Write.
This isn’t a comprehensive list of my sentiments, but it’s a fair sketch of my life philosophy. It has progressed from my ideology when I was forty or thirty. And I’m sure that my doctrine at sixty will have changed in ways that I cannot foresee right now.
Also note that although I truly do accept these things to be true, I likewise struggle with them. I’m human, just like you. I don’t ever lives up to my principle soul. I don’t ever adhere to my working life philosophy.
How many of these projects do you agree with? Which do you disagree with? More to the point: What are the core themes that even up your personal being philosophy?
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