Dalelorenzo's GDI Blog

scheduling a Zoom call to reject a candidate, an insulting trophy, and more

This post, scheduling a Zoom call to reject a candidate, an slur memento, and more, was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

It’s five provide answers to five questions. Now we go...

1. Scheduling a Zoom call to reject a place candidate

My friend has been applying for jobs and concluded it to the final round for one post. She didn't hear back from them on the timeline they had mentioned on the last interview, so she presupposed they passed on her and moved on. But she got an email from them recently asking to schedule a Zoom the next day. Feels promising, right? Wrong. She hops on the Zoom and they immediately "re told"," You are great, however travelled with another candidate and they abode" to her on the video, culminate of meeting.

Is it appropriate to schedule a Zoom call simply to rebuff person? I feel like that's really overkill and sort of the equivalent of asking someone to come into the office precisely to reject them in today's world where everything is so virtual. At "the worlds largest" I felt like this could have been a immediate phone call instead of going through the rigamarole of planning a Zoom, where the expectation was to be on video so they can reject you to your face. I also felt like scheduling the Zoom gave her the impression they would be making a formal offering, so it was doubly unpleasant to get accepted in this manner because she got her hopes up.

Oh, this is awful! I’m sure they didn’t intend it to be, but this takes all the problems with phone call accepts( you get your hopes up when they call you, then have to respond graciously on the spot to what might be subduing regret) and lends a horrifying video change( you probably made epoch ahead to ensure you glanced professional, maybe put on makeup and a bra, all to get a rejection that could have been delivered over email ).

When business do this, they think they’re being courteous and respectful." She invested the time, ” the thoughts disappears, “and we owe her the courtesy of a real conversation.” Some applicants really do prefer accepts that practice ... but so many people find it upsetting that it's really better to stick to email. You can send a highly affable, personalized email abandonment. You can even add a note that you’d be happy to talk on the phone if the person would like feedback, if that’s something you’re willing to offer. But attaining person come accepted face-to-face on video is not kind , no matter what the intentions.

2. Applying for full-time work when my state conveys I’d have to go part-time soon

My current work contract dissolves this year so I'm job-hunting again. I'm in a professional career with accreditation and specialized skills. My problem is that I have fibromyalgia that restrictions my vitality and work abilities. Realistically, I can work perhaps 20 hours a few weeks, but the vast majority of accessible tasks demand full-time workers. I could do this for a bit -- the last time I tried, I constituted it about 3 month with sick eras every week or two before I had to give up.

Would I be an asshole for applying to full-time employment and hoping that when my organization returns out, the job will value me enough to let me stay on, but chipped my hours? I'd love to be up-front about how much I can work, but I'm really worried about not concluding anything in my speciality before my money runs out, and if I work outside my speciality, I'd be taking a huge business strike and not able to pay for rent/ groceries. I'd desire some advice.

This is such a hard-handed place, and I’m sorry you’re in it.

You wouldn’t be an asshole for doing what you propose -- you’re not trying to screw anyone over, just trying to support yourself in a world-wide that doesn’t realise easier than i thought in your situation -- but it’s a risky approach that could leave you worse off.

It’s genuine that some hassles will be willing to let a valued employee go part-time when their health requires it, but asking questions it after only a few months is a much harder sell. It generally takes a lot longer for an employer to value you in the way that represents them willing to turn a full-time role part-time; after only three months, it’s more likely that they’ll conclude it’s time not working out( specially if those 3 month previously had a lot of dates off in them ). That’s not always the case, of course, and you may find an exception ... but those exceptions will likely be uncommon. And if you then be brought to an end with a couple of jobs in a row that you had to leave after a few months, that will make it harder to find the next one.

I wish I had a different answer for you! And patently you need to do what you need to do to get by. But this specific plan is a risky one.

3. Recruiters who want me to suggest 10+ seasons when I could talk

I recently got an email from a recruiter saying that she'd like to set up an interview and asking me to provide durations that I would be available to speak every day for the next two weeks. In a same vein, recruiters often ask me to provide them with 10+ durations that I am available to speak or give them my full availability over a two-week period.

I'm indecisive to block so much time, peculiarly because I've found that the recruiters who ask for so much time are usually slow to get back to me about scheduling.

These petitions turn me off, but they've gotten so common that I don't feel I can altogether avoid the companies that stir them. I often ply time a handful of seasons, and when the recruiter naturally propagandizes back, I either add a couple of additional times or ask them to provide some times that work on their outcome. Would you handle it differently?

Yeah, this is a bad way to go about scheduling unless they’re going to get back to you very quickly. It’s not reasonable to expect someone to hold so many different time slots empty-bellied for very long.

I’d send back what they’re asking for but include a notation saying something like, “My calendar tends to fill up swiftly so I can’t promise these seasons will all abide open -- but if you’re able to confirm a slit by today or tomorrow, that’ll ensure nothing else goes booked then.”( They still may not; that’s just how this trash tends to go .)

Personally, I’ve ever encountered when scheduling interviews with campaigners, it seems to work better if I show a couple of terms to them( while attaining it clear they should tell me if nothing cultivate ).

4. Is this accolade an offense?

I work in state government. About a year ago, we got a new grandboss, who instantly started a brand-new apportion system to honor those who go above and beyond in the performance of their duties. The monthly champion gets a traveling trophy. That’s all fine and dandy.

What rubs me the wrong way( and maybe shouldn’t) is what he announces it: the “getting shit done award” for monthly wins, and the “top of the pile” award( “remember, it’s always better to be at the top of the accumulation! ”) for quarterly champions. And the traveling trophy? It's a plastic miniature outhouse.

To me, the mode this system is set up( peculiarly the “top of the pile” bit) implies that those of us who don’t get the award are, quite literally, shit hires, even though they are I know that’s not the case( I’ve never acquired but systematically get radiating carry-on inspects from my boss ). What do you think?

I think the outhouse in poor taste and I wouldn’t do it( and would advise him not to if he asked me ), but I doubt he is ready and willing to imply the rest of you are shit. It’s more likely the outhouse is referencing “getting shit done, ” since that’s literally the name of the award that accompanies it! Tacky, yes, but not intended to be insulting.

5. Can I tell interviewers I’m leaving my job because of how my employer has directed Covid?

As I'm looking for a new job, I understand the general advice is to frame your reasons for leaving in a positive way. I'm perfectly capable of doing that, but I want to be honest about my most important reason for leaving my work. I work in a field where most peers are working fully remotely even now, but my work has been in the part as soon as it was legally possible. This was okay at first, because we had alternating schedules and social distancing desks in place.

As time went on, my boss invited beings to come in not on that schedule, which conveyed social distancing was no longer in place. He pointed up testing positive and Covid spread to over half of the department. He asked us to come back in less than two weeks and, when I would like to know whether I could toil remotely for two weeks, he said he would not pay me if I didn’t are now in. He rejected our concerns about future prevention of Covid spread and said anxiety-inducing things like" everyone will get covid eventually, it's better to get it over with" and" why are you even worried? Your parents are young.” He likewise doesn't seem to trust vaccines and says Covid was made by the Democrats and China.

My mental health has been at an all-time low-spirited. I precisely want to be honest about why I no longer enjoy working there, but my suitor says one should never badmouth your boss in interviews. Surely shortfall of a safe environment is a valid rationale I can utter? Saying simply a generic reasonablenes like I demand more challenging work, while genuine, just seems disingenuous. I'm worried about coming off as a complainer and was just wondering what I can word things in a professional way.

The rule that you shouldn’t badmouth your employer means you shouldn’t say things like your boss is toxic or a moron. That's considered indiscreet and because your interviewer will wonder what the other side of the legend is -- more here.

But it’s fine to say that you’ve been concerned by how your office has responded to the pandemic and you’re looking for a company that is operating in a safer sort. That’s perfectly understandable, just like you could also say you were sounding because your company was having financial both problems and you wanted something more stable. The key is to say it matter-of-factly and really in a single concise convict like that -- you don’t need to( and shouldn’t) go into all the details you have here. Your interviewer may ask about what your concerns have been( because they will rightly want to make sure you’ll be comfortable with whatever they are doing ). I'd respond with something like, “Despite a lot of petitions from the staffing requirements, the company wouldn’t enforce social distancing or the other public health bars the CDC recommended, and more than half our employees dissolved up contracting the virus” -- factual, concise, and not explicitly about what a loon your boss is( although he is ).

It’s actually a helpful thing to explain, because it will help you screen out boss similar to your boss.

You are also welcome to like: I pictured a coworker's husband naked on Zoom - should I said so ?my employee doesn't wear a bra on Zoom gathers -- should I say anything ?what brand-new hires should wear on video calls, withdraw its troops from a hiring process, and more

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coworker doesn’t pay attention in meetings, LinkedIn’s “stay-at-home-mom” job title, and more

This post, coworker doesn't pay attention in convenes, LinkedIn's “stay-at-home-mom” job title, and more, was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go...

1. Coworker doesn't pay attention during meetings

A team member never pays attention during our squad finds. She sits and forms on her laptop, and if the satisfy is via Zoom, it is obvious that she is doing work while we are all discussing various issues. If you ask anything that concerns her, again it is obvious that she wasn't listening and you have to ask her the issues to again. She is a team member, she does not report to me. My boss hasn't immediately queried her about this, but I know it fuss him and it is quite impertinent. Other crew members find it gratifying that she is oblivious to the chat. Any suggestions on how to approach this?

If it precisely disturbs you but isn’t causing real troubles, "lets get going" since as a peer you don’t genuinely have the reputation to address it. But if it’s causing problems -- and it sounds like it is if parties are having to repeat their questionss -- it’s reasonable to speak to your boss and say, “Could you ask Jane to tune in more during our satisfies? She doesn't notice when we ask her questions and we’re having to repeat things once we get her attention.”

If your boss is the passive category who won’t do anything, another option is to say at the start of the meeting, “Could we agree not work on other things while we meet? These go faster when everyone is paying attention and not agitated ."

2. Using LinkedIn's “stay-at-home-mom” job title

I'm so strange for your take on the story that LinkedIn is adding "stay-at-home mom" and other caregiver entitles to its site. I understand the relevant principles, particularly given the draconian reality of millions of women being propagandized out of the workforce due to lack of childcare and school shutdowns in the pandemic. I've steered the transition from stay-at-home mom to job seeker myself( pre-pandemic ), and it was awkward at times! I'm immensely in favor of any measures that help women get a foothold once they are able/ ready to return to the workforce, and for reduce the stigma of caregiving hire divergences in general. But I wonder if LinkedIn's move is actually helpful, or does it fall into the" well-meaning but misguided profession admonition" list?

I don't love it. Being a stay-at-home parent doesn’t belong on your resume so I'm not sure why it should go on your LinkedIn profile, and including it can harm more than help -- partly because it’s considered inappropriate to have anything be attributed to your family on your resume and partly because it gambles inviting bias( of which maids face plenty already ). That’s especially true if it seems like you’re equating parenting to work experience( as opposed to merely clarifying what you were doing during that time ), and I have concerns about this encouraging people to present it that way.

I assume the intent is to help people explain work gaps -- but( a) tons of people are going to have pandemic-related breaches and( b) gaps aren't inherently bad. You might be asked what you were doing during that time, but that's something you can easily explain with one sentence in your flood character if you want to.

Your resume is for professional accomplishments and employment, and I don't know that LinkedIn should be any different.

3. I'm on date apps and it's easy to find my workplace

I have a somewhat extraordinary first name. I to come to a new metropolitan for a profession and connected some date apps to meet people. My job comes up a lot, as I am intense about what I do, but a quick google research of my first name and profession leads to my LinkedIn page and other attaches that support my workplace. I work in a public-facing field and anyone can come into my work when we are open.

I was chitchatting with one gentleman, who found out I was interested and unmatched and then sent an email to my job address that night.

I am not sure how I can stay safe while working here. I don't want to hide what I do as I am very passionate, but working an alias first name seems kind of awkward.

Yeah, don't continue to give out both your given name and your professing if they readily lead to that kind of identifying information.

Do you need to be as specific about what the hell are you do or can you say something that's accurate but not as specific? For example, if you do llama midwifery consulting, can you just say " consulting "?

Or can you use a variation of your given name, or a nickname? For illustration, if your mention is Valentina, can you go by Val until you've met and regulated you're comfy with the person knowing more? I know it might feel a little sketchy to introduce yourself as Val and then later be like" actually I'm Valentina, I said Val earlier because my honour is super searchable and I didn't know you yet" -- but truly, any man who doesn't understand why you might give that kind of precaution is inattentive to a concerning degree about security dynamics between the sexes.

4. Employer illegally classified me as a contractor for years -- is it too late to do anything about it?

This has vexed me for years, and I'd love to hear your take on it.

Right out of college, I have a job writing/ editing for some niche brochures under the umbrella of the central newspaper in my country, along with 10 -1 5 other people. We cultivated as independent contractors for about two years, then we all became full employees for a few months, and then we were all laid off when the economy tanked. Thanks to your blog, I now know that I was illegally classified as an independent contractor( had mounted hours, an office to go to, utilizing the company's rig, etc ). This clas payment me a fortune in quarterly tariffs, plus I was granted less fund when I filed for unemployment after I was laid off.

I'd love to report the company to the IRS/ Department of Labor for misclassifying its employees, but this was back in 2008 -2 010 so I believe too much period has passed. I'm not looking for restitution or anything like that; I predict I'm just irked that they were doing something so blatantly illegal and I worry that they're still continuing this practice. Did I miss the boat on reporting them?

Unfortunately, yes. You have to file the claim within two years of the violation( or three years in the case of an employer’s intentional misdemeanour ). Your state law might have different deadlines so you could check that, but it probably won't go back that far.

5. Hiring when we’re open to full-time or part-time

What is the best way to keep our options open for render a racket? I'm at a small nonprofit. We expect to have a full-time position accessible this summer. The slot may be hard to fill because it requires several different skill sets. We might be looking for a unicorn. I would like to post the job( with salary collection !) but feed part-time applicants to apply as well in case we decide to fill the position with a mix of 2-3 responsibility timers. What do you think of this approach? ’

You can do that! I’d lay it out very transparently in the ad -- “While our predilection would be to fill this persona with one full-timer, we’re also open to hiring various part-timers to each cover a piece of this work. If you don’t have every skill listed but would be open to part-time work, satisfy apply and had pointed out that in your report letter.”

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lunch meetings when I can’t eat, I’ve fired my new employee before, and more

This post, lunch rallies when I can't eat, I've fired my new work before, and more, was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

It’s five provide answers to five questions. Now we go...

1. Lunch fits when I can’t eat

I'm about to enter an manufacture that encourages people to communicate with each other, in particular through the stately incident of “let's have lunch.” My biggest confidential is that I have a rare lifelong compulsive eating that meets it very hard to eat with beings. When I frequently have lunch with parties, I'd rather swallow on some chocolate and still be engaged in the conversation. Knowing that buying someone lunch is a way to show kindness, especially between professionals, I am not ready for this. The worst case scenario is for the other party to think they are doing a very kind service of saying something for me. Insisting that I gobble when I am not in the claim space can be insanely triggering and can lead to me having an psychological disturbance. These “rules” do have exceptions, nonetheless. For illustration, I am more likely able to eat breakfast than lunch and dinner.

Having a lunch cros is inevitable. How can I still participate in lunch conversations without having to eat nor justify my surrounding?

If these banquets are with groups, this will be easier to navigate; people won’t be as focused on what you’re eating or not eating and you are eligible to likely "re going away" with exactly coffee and something small that you push around on the plate( if you're comfortable with that ). But in a one-on-one meeting, it can feel somewhat awkward to be the only person eating and it's more likely to become A Thing. So for any confronts that will exactly be you and one other person, hint breakfast or coffee. People are often glad for the opportunity to change things up( and both of those can be shorter than lunch, which people often appreciate ). But if someone is really pushing lunch, try saying, “I’ve got some food limiteds that make it hard to order off most menus, but I’m happy to exactly have coffee if you want to do lunch.”( Then it’s up to them if they want to be the sole eater .)

It’s unlikely that someone will tell something for you( that’s not something parties commonly do in business status, extremely if you’ve already said you have food regulations) but when a person is does, jump in with, “Thanks for render but I detest to waste meat, so I’ll stick with coffee.” Typically when someone thrusts menu in a framework like this, they’re worried about you not having what is necessary or that you’re unhappy/ being robbed, so the more you can be breezy and cheerful about it, the better: “Oh, I’m used to it, I don’t mind at all! ” -- “Any time I have coffee is a win for me! ” -- “Nah, I’m used to it and it doesn’t bother me at all. So tell me about Work Topic X! ”

2. I’ve shelled my new work before

I recently took a job in my same industry and city. In my new persona, I’ll have a team of eight reporting to me in many capacities and functions. During the interview process, I got a brief read-out of the team and a high level talent assessment. Nothing stood out as a question. On my first day, I assemble the team reporting to me. One of the people on the team is someone that worked for me before and who I started for case due to performance at my previous job.

What do I communicate to my new administrator and/ or HR about such a situation? It feels peculiar to say nothing because eventually, this could be a management issue -- I’m sure this hire doesn’t feel enormous about developments in the situation. On the other hand, I don’t want to risk harming this person’s reputation at this busines if they are doing a good job so far. This person is pretty brand-new now, more, and my impression is they are either doing a better occupation in this role or handling has not yet distinguished an issue with their performance.

Have you talked to the employee hitherto? That’s important because they are undoubtedly really uncomfortable, if not outright panicking. Ideally you’d tell them that you’re happy to be working with them again, you’ve heard good things about the use they’ve been doing( if that’s genuine ), and while you know your last experience working together didn’t arrive the highway either of you missed, this is a different situation and, as far you’re concerned, both of you are starting fresh.

I do think you’re right that you need to mention it to your own manager or HR. It sucks because this person is entitled to a fresh start without the firing following them to a different undertaking, but I’d be moderately concerned if I found out someone I managed didn’t share something so potentially related with me. It’s relevant not as a predictor of the person’s work now but because it could affect the dynamic between the two of you, and either of you could struggle not to construe things through that old-fashioned lens. I’d keep it very brief -- “I finagled Jane at an old activity and unfortunately the fit wasn’t right and we discontinued up parting channels. I’m unusually willing to start fresh with her and I’m hopeful the role she’s in could be a great a parallel, but I figured you’d want to be aware of the prior work relationship.” Likewise, if it’s been a while since you worked together, stress that too.

3. Visible nipple thrusts at work

I work in healthcare, and one of our front desk organization has nipple thrusts that are easily evident through her shirt( to the degree that it is obvious what type of jewelry she is wearing ).

Although I am generally firmly in the tent of" your lingerie (/ stabs) are your own business, ” is it appropriate to ask her to conceal her sounds more effectively? If so, how does one have that discussion?

Maybe it’s because my brain is completely burned out after Wednesday’s speed round( in which I refuted 76 QUESTIONS IN TWO Hours and may never recover) but I’m candidly not sure this is right I stand on this. I can come up with a assortment of defences for saying you can’t have distracting stabs at work( no matter where they are) and I can come up with a knot of reasons why you should leave it alone. In general, my bias is to err on the two sides of causing parties peak discretion unless you have a good reason not to, but that doesn’t always operate when you’re dealing with front desk staff who are the face of your business. If you had a “no noticeable non-ear piercings” policy, that would cover this -- but I don’t want you to implement that programme precisely to deal with this since it would restrict other strikes that you might otherwise ought to have penalty with.

Ultimately, I recall the right answer is that you can/ should address it, but I can’t seem to get myself the whole way there ... and I'm sure it's because I’m so tired of people having opinions about how women’s breasts show up at work ... even though I know this is different from those situations. Hopes from others?

( It’s also an interesting pondered practise to think about how you’d handle this if it were a highly visible Prince Albert piercing on a humankind .)

4. Can I use a second job offer to get more money after I’ve already admitted a different proposal?

Last year, I( unsuccessfully) attempted to negotiate my existing contract with my bos of five years as it was no longer working for me and my family. My boss listened to my concerns, but I was told that our manufacture was hurting from COVID and the changes I was seeking were not possible then. A week last-minute, I was furloughed for several months. At the end of my furlough, my bos let me know my job was still available to me, but my contract would remain unchanged. I had a job offer in a new role in the same industry, which I accepted, and told my supervisor I would not be coming back. We parted on good terms.

After six months at my brand-new hassle, I realized this new role was not for me. After a chance encounter with my former employer's biggest adversary, I was offered my age-old role at this new company, with all the terms I was previously searching. I accepted the position and have a start date in the coming weeks.

My industry is small, and this morning my onetime overseer contacted out to me saying that he examined I'm going to this new company and was upset I didn't trying to reach him about gotta go back into my age-old role. He mentioned that they are expanding their workforce, and asked if I would be open to talking about modifications that have already been implemented there and what it would take to have me return! I accepted the meeting but have no intention of returning there regardless of how good the furnish is. My intention was to see what they offer and then go to my new occupation, tell them my age-old employer made an unsolicited present, and see if they can offer me a ratify bonus. In my industry, ratifying bonuses are very common. I was not offered one with my initial offer, but I know they have offered them in the past to try and entice people to join their company.

Is this acceptable practice, or does this have the potential of blowing up in my face? I've never been in this position before, and I figure it doesn't hurt to ask, right?

No, it could hurt to ask. You’ve accepted their offer, and you’d basically be going back to them and saying, “I might not make this chore after all, unless we can renegotiate compensation” -- which will make it look like you haven’t been operating in good faith.( What if they came back to you after you’d accepted the job and wanted to pay you less ?) You can walk away from the new position if you crave( it will likely burn the bridge, but you can do it if you just wanted to take the old place ), but you can’t say, “Wait, I changed my thoughts and now I crave more.”

Frankly, I wouldn’t take that had met with your age-old boss at all if you're positive you have no intention of returning. That would be operating in bad faith with both employers and it’s not a good way to steer your career.( There’s generally no suffering in hearing people out, but in this case you’d be consuming their age alone in the hopes of using it to get more fund from someone else, and you gamble that someone else telling you that you should go ahead and take the other offer, which you don’t even want .)

5. All my fellow members preserves canceling on me, and it’s jeopardizing a deadline

I am supposed to be trained on a particular platform for evaluating students. The person responsible for this training has said they would meet with me on three different occasions, but they have never shown up; ever something been put forward. I have done what I can in the system by reaching out to fellow colleagues, but the next steps must involve the training person. If the data is not submitted by end of April there will be tough results, district and state-wide. How do I approach them with a firm understanding that we must meet? Do I go to my manager? Help!

Do two things: let the person know that you absolutely must have the data submitted by the end of the month, which means you need the training no later than X( to give you time to actually do the drudgery after you’re instructed ), and request how to pin down a go that they can perfectly commit to. Then give your boss a heads-up about what’s going on and how you’re handling it, so that she’s well understood the situation and so she knows how intervene only if she wants to.

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I was falsely accused of messing up the bathroom, I declined a lowball offer, and more

This post, I was falsely accused of messing up the shower, I declined a lowball offering, and more, was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go...

1. I was falsely accused of messing up the bathroom

For a couple of years now, we've had a problem with personnel not cleaning up their messes in our staff lavatories( people not cleaning down the seats, pee-pee on the flooring, toilet paper left around, etc ). This has been a source of annoyance for our head manager, and each time I use the staff lavatory, I am extremely careful to make sure everything is pristine before I leave.

Last week, our head manager called me into her role and was pointed out that a staff member had complained to her about the country in which I left the bathroom, and she reminded me that there are cleaning furnishes available to help. I felt genuinely offended and humiliated, and I am very unconvinced that I am the one responsible. When I uttered some suspenses that it was me, she closed down the conversation, telling me that another staff member registered right after me and experienced the mess. This doesn’t mean that I am the delinquent though: oftentimes I go into the restroom not to use the toilet, but sometimes to comb my fuzz or even only blow my nose. I’ve actually brushed my teeth in there after lunch on occasion. In those situations, I’m not near the lavatory, much less looking at it to see if there was a mess there from the person before.

I don't feel like I was treated fairly. I "re particularly concerned about" invoking special topics with her again, handed how persuasion she appears to be that I am at fault. I am really flustered about being held to this behavior though. Do you have any suggestions for me?

Oh no.

Technically, you could just let it go. But realistically, if I are available on your shoes, I would be wondering if that administrator reviewed I was responsible for all the mess , not just that one time, and then I would want to say something. Because I don’t crave parties judging I am the chronic lavatory sinner( more to the point: the turd perp) when I am not.

So, personally I would go back to her and say this: “I don’t want to belabor this, but it’s important to me not to leave you with the wrong impression. When I use the bathroom, I am most careful about starting sure it is pristine before I leave, largely because I don’t revalue the messes other beings leave but likewise because I know it’s been a long-running frustration for you. I understand someone met it messy after I came out, but I sometimes go in simply to comb my hair or setback my snout, and in those cases I’m not near the toilet or even witnessing if there was a mess from someone before me. I can tell you in the strongest of calls that I am not leaving the bathroom a mess. We certainly don’t need to debate this, but I was taken aback when we talked last week and I want to set the record straight now.”

2. I’m being penalise for worsening my employer’s lowball offer

I’m 27, three years out of college, still at my first after-college job, which I also operated part-time in college. Last-place summer, we had a guy quit with no notice. To understate the develop hulk that begun, I was asked to step into his position. I concurred, and while I civilized on the use of the new equipment, the higher-ups came up with a new job offer. The numeral they came up with was a 7% elevate, but the job was easily 50% more manipulate and necessary 3-4 days a week overnight travel.( I was primarily in an office position, and this is a field position .) I rejected the proposal, but offered to work in the position until they could find someone to get it on full-time.

This is where it gets interesting. When my then-supervisor heard I had rejected the furnish, he told the higher-ups I couldn’t have my old-fashioned responsibility back because I was slothful. I was completely blindsided by this. So anyway, I wasted the coming six weeks making 60 ish-hour weeks in four epoches and living out of a hotel, you know lazy employee stuff. Once a replacing was hired, I improved the new guy. Once he took over, I was placed in the most entry-level position in individual departments that does the run the higher-ups know I find the least rewarding. When I try to ask for more responsibilities or got anything to stir my work more fulfilling, I get a lecture about paying my oweds or, as my boss makes it, “time in grade.” All I truly demand is to do these levels of operate I was doing before I volunteered to get the company out of a bind. This same boss has promoted all the people who started with the company about when I did, so it materializes like the “time in grade” excuse is a either a cop-out or there’s something else they aren’t telling me.

I decided to stick with this company alone for some industry-specific experience requirements for state licensure, but have completed those requirements. My boss says that this company will have amazing opportunities if I stick with it and has been incredibly is right to him. My experience with this company has been one of being lied to, having opportunities taken away from me, and being thrown under the bus, maybe with a little bit of gaslighting thrown in for good measure. So I’m presuming it’s time for a new job, but with the economic issues caused by the pandemic, the job market in my industry isn’t as neat as I’d like it to be. I’ve interviewed at a couple of places, but it doesn’t look like those are going to work out. What is the best way to proceed?

Keep interviewing, as actively as possible.

Your companionship is punishing you for having the temerity to preach for yourself when after they tried to lowball you. That’s the act of crappy, inessential beings at a crappy, petty fellowship. You did them a huge favor and this is how they’re repaying you! Don’t listen to your boss when he says there are amazing opportunites for you there if you stick with it; there aren’t, and you’ve seen how they treat parties. They’ve shown you that you can’t trust them. They’ve fully burned this bridge.

You might not be able to leave immediately, but keep applying to other jobs. That’s the only path forward.( Likewise, formerly you leave, make sure you let your peers know how you were treated .)

3. My manager wants me to to make ascribe for others’ work

Recently my overseer asked me to do something that I felt was taking credit for the work of others. We have a weekly report where we list what chores we ended, activities we worked on, any large-hearted radical things that launched. It's are reported in our crew fit, so time our bureau sees it. My manager wants me to include tasks that were done by others on other teams, but may have been seeks we impelled or were milestones for campaigns we are part of. Think feature betters for a website that a developer actually executed or a develop a colleague passed for development projects I’m involved in.

He says that this is what being a manager is about. You influence the processes and you contribute to decisions and all the fruits of that influence stem from you, and it's "fine" to call this a terminated on my own part despite doing nothing of the work since it" wouldn't have happened without my input ."

I know he's comfortable with doing this( he's rostered pieces that I and others have completed in the past) and his overseer "ve never" stopped him. He's very incessant that this is reasonable but I'm not so sure. Is he right, that depict your affect is important, and I'm being too literal about "completed"? Or should I stick with my initial feeling that this is taking undue credit for others run? What's the line between stealing and sharing the ascribe?

Why not roll its consideration of this agenda item but be very clear about who completed them? If an item stems from petitions your unit stimulated or is part of a project you’re working on, it seems like it could be useful for your team to hear they’re now accomplished. But you don’t need to say you did them yourself! Really be very precise -- for example, “I’d expected the X team to do Y for us and they came that finished this week” or “Jane finished the web page for the carnival so we can launch ticket marketings this month” or so forth.

It would be weird if you said “I did X” when in fact Jane did X, but it’s not strange to let people know that Jane did it( and if it's something you proposed or liaised with her to achieve, you can mention that extremely ).

Similarly, it’s not mysterious for your administrator to talk about what his unit completed( he gets some credit for what his unit achieves, just as he's accountable if anything leads really wrong) as long as he’s not asserting that he personally did those things or giving parties to be convinced that by omission.

4. Leaving partway through tuition reimbursement

I have been with my current supervisor for about 1.5 years. Around the three-month mark, I signed a contract stating that they would reimburse me for my tuition( relevant to my job) on the condition that I need to stay with the company for two years after completing my measure. If I leave before that time I have to pay back half of what they have paid. I have about one year of school left, so a total of three years more with this company.

I agreed to this because hey, free school! I was also fresh at the job and so still had rose-colored glasses on. Now I’m pretty sorrowful and unfulfilled. I’ve been applying to errands here and there, but is guilty. Does it look bad to leave before putting in those added years of work? I know I can precisely pay them back, but will this introduce a black mark on this companionship as a citation? They’re investing in me and I’m not living up to the agreement.

As long as you abide by the agreement and pay back the half you agreed to pay back, you should be fine. This trash isn’t generally “you pay us back half the money and we consider the bridge burnt.” It’s a business arrangement, you pay whatever it is you agreed, done. If they weren’t okay with that outcome, they probably would have written a different contract. The one they offered you is pretty standard, and you can usually take it at face value.

5. Monitor the implementation of an internal job

I recently applied and interviewed for a profession within the company where I'm employed. At the end of the final round of interrogations, the hiring overseer told me when she hoped to have a decision. She also said( unprompted) that she'd let me know one way or the other since our HR is notorious about forgetting.

I'm sure you can see where this is going. At this point, we're a week past the ideal decision date, the job posting has been removed, and I've heard nothing. I'm pretty positive I didn't get it. I don't think the hiring administrator deliberately spirit me; I thoughts she probably just forgot. Jobs in that department simply open up once every few years at most, and I know she has a lot on her plateful regardless.

I naturally wouldn't even consider following up until two weeks after the stated deadline -- I know things change -- but the circumstances asked a short process, and my current capacity and the one I applied for have very limited interactions. It's entirely possible I'll have at least see the new person by then. Is there a point to following up when you know you didn't get the job? Should I do it before, when I gamble seeming impatient but at least can't be 100% sure? Or should I exactly not say anything at all? I did send a thank-you note several hours after the interview.

For what it's worth, it's less than I crave official proof( though that would be nice) and more that I just wanted to do the right thing, both because I respect the hiring manager and would want to apply again in the future if the job ever reopens.

I wouldn’t assume anything! Hiring nearly always takes longer than people think it will, even when their aim is to run a very quick process.

That said, you’re a week past her territory decision year, so there’s nothing wrong with checking back to see if she has an updated timeline she can share.( And meanwhile, if it’s bugging you or you’re perturbed you’ll meet the new person before you’ve received official parole that they hired person, usurp for now that you didn’t get the job so it doesn’t stay an open question in your knowledge, and then cause it be a pleasant surprise if you turn out to be wrong .)

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can I ignore a toxic employee who’s leaving, warning candidates about weirdness in our hiring, and more

This post, can I reject a harmful employee who's leaving, warning applicants about weirdness in our hiring, and more, was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go...

1. Can I neglect a poisonous employee during her last few days?

I have managed someone, let’s call her Rachel, for over a year and a half. The majority of the experience has been negative -- she’s rude, feeds on drama, and induces low quality work. I’ve had various discussions with her with a view to improving her act. After a great deal of painful ordeals, she resigned while I was on vacation.( My supervisor texted me .) She only made a week’s notice, and since I’m on vacation we will exclusively have 2 day overlap.

I know as a director I have the responsibility to be professional and respectful, but I can’t stomach the idea that we even have to interact at all on those two final eras. I have even saw rescheduling our team satisfy to the day after she leaves because I don’t want to hear some passive-aggressive spiel from her about how she’s going to some place that recognizes her and her skill set. And I certainly don’t want to have a fake conversation where we thank each other for our time and work together, because that would be a lie. While previously I’ve tried to be encouraging in difficult speeches , now I feel like I don’t have to put on any feignings anymore, especially since she resigned in a petty practice. Is it okay if I discount her or have very minimal interaction with her on those final two days? And what are your thoughts more broadly about reducing interactions with lethal hires that you control directly or are part of your divide?

No, you cannot ignore her during her final two days. That would start you look tiny and petty to other hires ... and rightly so!

You’re the manager, which means you have most of the power in this situation. If this hire is that bad, the time to handle it was much earlier -- by leave her clear warnings about what needed to change and then letting her fall if you didn’t attend those changes. That didn’t happen for whatever reason( and for all I know, perhaps you tried to do that and were quashed, in which case I can better understand your foiling ). But she’s leaving now! Be glad she’s leaving.

You do need to handle it professionally though; it would constitute you seem truly unspeakable otherwise. Have the conversation where you wish her hole because that's the professional thing to do, especially as a person with more permission than she has. If you indeed recall she’ll be disorderly in your unit meet, then sure, go ahead and reschedule it -- but not if it's just to avoid talking to her or because you don’t want to hear her say goodbye. Part of your job is being affable as one speaking on behalf of your bos when a person leaves. Don’t give up your moral high ground and compromise your own reputation and credibility just when you’re about to be free of her.( Maybe it'll help to think of this as what you owe yourself , not her .)

And to that last question about minimizing interactions with harmful works you administer: Nope, can’t do it, main reasons. You’ve got to manage them; if they’re toxic, warn them and then fire them if it's warranted. But you cannot ignore or reduce interactions with parties you manage. If you just wanted to do that, that's a flag to look at how effectively you're really coping; I suppose it's not actively enough!

2. Fragrance reactions when I don’t work for the same company as the perpetrator

I am allergic to Lysol and a lot of other draconian chemical reeks and smells. I have had caring managers and when someone has worn heavy perfume, I was able to speak to management( or immediately to the person, depending on our relationship) and the matter was resolved.

I have managed to get through most of Current Times without numerous incidents. However, I have a new neighbour in my role. The other era she sprayed down her part bureau with Lysol and I noticed it immediately. I get a brain-splitting migraine and unless I am away from the smell my remedy won’t be able to help. I had to leave for the day.

I told her I was allergic and asked if she would be able to refrain from utilizing it or at least wait until the end of the day. She said she was sorry for prompting my allergy but hindering herself safe from Covid is her top priority. While I don’t dissent( my husband is high-risk and I am cautious myself ), I can’t implement those kinds of chemicals.

I am not sure how to handle this because we share an office building but do not work for the same company. Half of the building is one company( I think they own it) and the other half is leased out like executive suites. My company leases a few individual places for me and two other coworkers. My honchoes aren’t involved with anything at my site other than paying for the opening. From what I mustered, my neighbour is hiring the role for herself.

I do have a work-friendly relationship with the position director. We in the leased offices have access to their copy machine, breach apartment, etc. and if I had an issue with any of those things I would speak to her. I am not sure what power she ought to have been regarding this issue.

Talk with the power overseer. While her fellowship isn’t your supervisor, they are providing you with workspace and have an obligation to comply with the Americans with Disorder Act. They might be willing to tell your neighbor she can’t use scented concoctions in the power, or might be able to move one of you to a better cooled arena( or time a different locality ), or otherwise provide solutions. If they won’t, at that point you’d need to take it to your own company( since it constitutes no ability for them to pay to put you in a gap that you end up needing to flee ), but begins with the power manager first.

3. Should I forewarn campaigners about weirdness in higher ed hiring?

Currently, I'm leading a exploration committee for an entry-level professional staff position at a public university. These standings are often the first job people get out of grad school for higher education administration.

Since our positions are government berths, we have a lot of restrictions on what we can ask as a hunting committee. For precedent, we have to ask every candidate the same set of questions( or very similar questions ). All committee members take detailed memoranda during interviews. As a develop, our interviews are often stilted and have substantial intervals after each question as committee members write! This also means that we have to ask all candidates a question we'd usually exactly want to ask one candidate.

I don’t want to seem condescending, but I feel like clarifying the format ahead of time may help campaigners play better. Does this sound surprising enough to warn candidates? I'm be applicable to it, but I've been working at the same conservatory for 10 years.

Many candidates in higher ed are probably be applicable to it, but I’m a big fan of asking your process regardles -- because “many candidates” is not the same as “all candidates, ” and by sharing the playbook you help statu the playing field for people who might not have the same reference points as other applicants.

It could be as simple as creating a spiel you demonstrate at the start of every interrogation -- “We’re required to ask all candidates the same questions, so there may be some questions that don’t apply so much better to you. It’s fine to precisely note when that’s the event. We also make detailed indicates, so you’ll likely notice intermissions after all the issues; don’t let that move you.” Etc. That shouldn't seem deign; even people who don’t need it will likely appreciate the attempt at transparency.

You could also potentially email it as a standardized blurb about your process when you’re confirming interviews ahead of time, but I think it designs just fine to explain it at the start of the meeting.

4. Asking my aged responsibility for the performance of their duties templates

I just begins with a new company doing the same type of work as a previous activity. My old undertaking had the most amazing templates for our use, whereas my current agency is not as developed in this area. I care I had these templates, but I can't remember all the details to recreate even fooling myself. Would it be inappropriate to ask my old-time district for their templates? My new company is a completely different industry so there are no competition concerns, but the amount of operate they did to research best rules starts me pause. I don't want to insult them by asking questions their work.

I would not. That’s their intellectual property issues. It’s possible they’d forward it on, but there’s a somewhat decent probability they won’t and that the request itself will moor badly.

But you can use the knowledge you gained from working with those templates to recreate something similar at your brand-new enterprise. You might not recollect everything that was included but it sounds like you know, for example, that they were created after lots of research into best practises. So in theory, you could describe why they were so useful and ask if there’s interest in having you or something else lay in the time to create your own.

5. Showing growth in responsibilities on a resume

I made on a position as an X Coordinator at a small organization. As I became cozy in the persona my jobs expanded a lot and I was asked to lead more projections. I had said that since I was doing quite a bit of project management that my entitlement be changed to X Manager, and it was. I was then asked to do an Interim Director role for a few months and then will return to my X Manager role.

How do I express all of this on resumes or LinkedIn? I didn't receive a advertisement( nor a collect ), really a entitle change as functions naturally shifted around. So right now I simply changed my title on LinkedIn, without appearance any" moving up" per se.

I'd really like to show my proliferation on paper, nonetheless. I'm good at my job, made initiative to voluntary, expanded the persona, and thrived a lot! How do I are demonstrating that without an actual advertisement?

A promotion isn’t simply a advertising if it comes with more coin. You travelled from coordinator to manager -- that’s a publicity for the purpose of your resume. You could picture it like this 😛 TAGEND

Oatmeal Galleria X Manager, January 2020- present X Coordinator, May 2018- December 2019* Created highly-reviewed barley outreach campaign, had contributed to 20% emergence in barley corroborate in one year* Acted as interim conductor for four months, supervising five-person oatmeal production team and pioneering award-winning groats packaging* accomplishment* accomplishment

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coworker is writing a dissertation on our boss being a narcissist, using social media comments to get a job, and more

This post, coworker is writing a dissertation on our boss being a narcissist, working social media comments to get a job, and more, was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Now we go...

1. Coworker concludes our manager is a narcissist and is doing her exposition on it

I am part of a very small team, it’s really me, my colleague, and our administrator. Our manager( John) ousted our previous director( Pete) at the start of this year. All my fellow members( Sarah) and Pete are really good friends, and Sarah was quite unhappy when he was replaced. It was necessary due to slip-ups he made, though.

Sarah and John do not like one another. Harmonizing to Sarah, John was shooting for Pete’s position and used immoral tricks to get wise. I was not aware of it and I simply have her command for it. They have also clashed due to communication methods and personality gaps. Sarah says he does not fit in with the culture. Our office has a really tightened culture and booze regularly plays a role, but John doesn’t drink and is seen as stuck-up.

I have not had the same suffers with John. I think he is a really good manager. He might not go out and drink wine with us, but he sanctions me and he listening to me. I check him as more of a mentor than a manager.

Sarah recently started accompanying a therapist, and apparently her psychiatrist conceives our overseer is a narcissist.( Can a analyst diagnose person like that? Is it even morally acceptable ?) She presented Sarah some substances to read, and Sarah agrees with the diagnosis. Sarah is getting a psychology grade and made the decision to do her thesi on narcissists in the workplace. She’s very excited about it and runs around telling everyone about it, also saying she got the idea after months of affliction. Everyone is aware she doesn’t get along with John, and it isn’t that difficult to figure out she might be referring to him.

Sarah did go to HR about her unhappiness, and she is being moved to another persona in the organization. I am embarrassing with her dissertation, though. Obviously in her private faculty she can draw the subject whatever she is intended to, but implying that he is a narcissist without any real proof doesn’t feel good. Can I do anything about it? Must I warn John? Go to HR?

Dear lord. Sarah sounds like a problem in variou channels( including saying someone’s not a culture fit because they don’t drink -- !?). Unfortunately, I don’t think you’re well positioned to do much about it, but it sure wouldn’t hurt to let John know what’s happening so he can figure out if he needs to do anything to protect himself. It also wouldn’t hurt to tip off HR and tell them know you’ve had excellent knowledge with John so far. Sarah sounds like she’s truly out to take John down, and there’s value in HR hearing another point of view.

Also, when you hear Sarah badmouthing John, ideally you'd speak up and say, “That hasn’t been my experience with John at all. I’ve noticed him to be a really good manager.” It’s handy for her to get that pushback, and it’s even more useful for the people she’s talking to to know that Sarah’s viewpoint isn’t universally shared.

( And no, ethical psychiatrists will not diagnose someone they haven't analyse .)

2. Trying to mobilize social media comments to get a job

A professional acquaintance( we work for different agencies in the same state government, and have had a couple conversations at episodes for a professional organization we both is a matter for) is applying for a new job with another state agency. He announced a comment on the agency's LinkedIn post announcing the job opening and said that he had applied, and since then he's been reaching out to seemingly everyone he knows asking them to like his statement and share a comment of their own on that LinkedIn post with their supporter. So far, he has amassed more than 150 criticisms in support.

He's just reached out to me asking questions a like and a comment as well. Because we work in government, hiring is supposed to be strictly merit-based and this kind of crowdsourced social media reinforcement is not something a hiring manager can consider when making a hiring decision. I find the whole thing unusually improper, and even if I wanted to support him I've never is cooperating with him and I certainly wouldn't be able to speak to any of his qualifications. How should I invent a response -- and what should I think of everyone I know who has exited along with this and posted specific comments in his support?

This is an peculiar policy. Even outside of government, when hiring managers could theoretically take these sorts of social media assistance into account, hiring isn't a popularity contest where the person who gets the most likes on their mention prevails the job. And in a lot of organizations the people make the hiring are completely separate from the people doing the social media and wouldn’t even know this was happening ... and if they did, it might get a candidate noticed in a bad way.

Anyway. You is able to reject any such requests. It doesn’t sounds like the two of you talk much, so I don’t think you need to give an explanation. As for what to think of the people who have gone along with it ... probably just that they want to get do a feel-good kind of thing for him without being particularly invested in whether it was a good or bad idea.

3. Our company will refund us for engineering acquisitions ... in seven months

Our company has been fully remote for a full time, and in that time, employees have been on our own to figure out what to do about office supplies needed to do our jobs. Then today, our HR team sent out an email related to this that I'm sure they felt was well-intentioned, but precisely feels like a slap in the face.

The big-hearted announcement is that the house is providing all staff a $250 technology reimbursement to be used towards office supplies, and provisioned a register of relevant components, such as printers, paper/ ink, keyboards/ mice, headsets, chairs, and laptop stands.

However, this comes with two major caveats. The first is that this does not apply retroactively to anything that we may have already purchased, and the second is that we will not be reimbursed this coin until NOVEMBER of this year, although they could not say exactly when. The teaches essentially said, hold on to the the revenues and we'll let you know when it's time to submit them.

At this time, many of us have recently been spent quite a bit out of pocket for necessary items, and are now being told that it will exclusively are available for pieces acquired going forward. Frankly, I don't need anything anymore -- I previously bought a mouse, printer, ink, paper, etc ., all so I could do my job when they didn't provide us with any initial guidance.

I am sure they are expecting an outpouring of gratitude, but it feels like too little, too late. Additionally, what if folks can't open to swim the company $ 250 without being refunded for eight months? It just seems super out of touch. At this moment, I don't even want to take advantage of it because it feels super vague and poorly thought out, and I'm worried we'll get to November and they will reject my refund claim for some reason, and then I'll be out of pocket for something I wouldn't have undoubtedly bought. What do you think?

Yeah, this is crappy. As you noted, people who needed those components probably already bought them on their own; ideally they’d be willing to reimburse you for those working. And asking you to wait until November to get refunded for purchases now ... what if you’re no longer working there in November?

Your employer is saving a good deal of fund by not having employees on-site, and they’ve apparently changed the cost of equipment and renders over to you as well ... and now are uttering it more difficult than it needs to be to get some of that reimbursed. It's a bad arrangment.

4. Client always spells my figure wrong

I work at a company that works countless local and national purchasers. One of the customer in my portfolio onboarded with our fellowship a year ago and I have had any number of communications with various representatives regarding their particular section of the business.

There is one client representative who has spelled my specify incorrectly every ... single ... age they connected to me.

My name is pretty common, mull Michelle or Sarah, but they ever spell my figure with the alternative mean, conclude Michele/ Sara. The correct and more common spelling of my specify is in my signature. In addition, I am mimicked on letter where others have spelled my identify accurately and more this person still addresses me with the alternative mean of my name.

This client is VERY important to my company's bottom line and it has been said more than formerly that they are the ones stopping the doors open, so I have been indecisive to make a stink about what should be a non-issue ... but it is my NAME! Would it be bad form after a year to tell this person they have been spelling my specify wrong? I don't want to cause issues with my fellowship if this person gets offended, but after a year, it kills me a little bit every time I examine my honour misspelled in letter directed to me because I feel like that isn't me if that impels sense.

There’s no suffering in “by the way, it’s Sarah( with an h )! ” But if that doesn’t get through, you’re better off trying to let it roll off of you. As someone whose name is constantly misspelled, my quality of life is way better from really deciding not to care about it. Some beings are bad with reputations or bad at spell, or they know someone who incantations it the other way and so it’s locked in their chief that way.

This is a client , not a spouse or a parent or someone else who you'd presumably expect to be invested in getting it right.

5. What does it means that a errand I’m interviewing for keeps getting reposted?

I applied for an open entry-level position through LinkedIn about a week ago. I successfully went through the phone interview and planned an in-person interview later the coming week( yay !). I noticed on LinkedIn that this job has been reposted a second time, and now that post is no longer taking applications. Now I’ve look they affixed the commencement of the again for a third hour. What does this make?

No good will come from trying to read anything into that. It could just be that they keep their job posts active until the position is filled( which is very common ), and sporadically refresh them during that time so they don’t ogle stale( also common ). Or who knows, perhaps they aren’t completely satisfied with their applicant pool and want to increase it -- which wouldn’t necessarily demonstrate anything about the strength of your candidacy since most hiring administrators want to have multiple strong campaigners in the concoction. Basically, it’s inconceivable to know what’s behind it from the outside, and there’s no point in trying to parse it out; this sort of thing will drive you out of your gourd if you dwell on it too much.

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can I ask my employee to remove his pronouns from his email signature, stuck paying for a business hotel, and more

This post, can I ask my employee to remove his pronouns from his email signature, deposit paying for a business hotel, and more, was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

It’s five provide answers to five questions. Now we go...

1. Can I ask my employee to remove his pronouns from his email signature?

My employee recently added pronouns to his signature pipeline:( he/ him ). Can I ask him to remove this from his signature? It seems highly unprofessional, particularly in our industry.

Please don’t. It’s not unprofessional.

There’s a developing movement to include pronouns in things like email signatures to create a more inclusive environment for trans and non-binary employees. Your employee may be signaling support and inclusivity and/ or may have encountered beings misgendering him.

If this feels out of sync with your corporation, the answer to that isn't to tell your employee to stop doing something inclusive; it's to push your fellowship to evolve. If you're not up for doing that, you at least shouldn't standing in your employee's way.

2. Stuck paying for my own hotel for business travel

I work auctions for a mid-size company. I was sent on a sales trip, and the company booked a room at the inn. Unfortunately, due to airline retards, I arrived at the hotel three hours too late and the apartment "re no longer" available. The hotel had no other chambers accessible. I went to another hotel and checked in with my own credit card.

When I got back, I had hoped to be reimbursed for my hotel bide. Instead I was informed that I bided at a hotel that's on the company's omitted gathering roll( a inventory of companionships, authorities, beings, etc. that the company does not do business with ). I tried to explain that I was unaware that the hotel chain was on the list and this all happened at 2 in the morning when I didn't have time to call the company and have them get me a apartment somewhere else or tell me what neighbourhood inn was okay. I'm am aware there's a list, but I didn't know about this order and I was fixed. I imagine the company should at least recoup me for 75%. Your thoughts?

Your company should refund you 100% unless you purposely prefer something like the Ritz-Carlton when the Doubletree was available. And even though they are you did that, they should still reimburse you whatever amount they commonly would have paid.

It’s not reasonable that you should have to pay for your own hotel on a business trip simply because you were stranded without accommodation at 2 am and weren’t able to check their omitted schedule. Ideally, sure, you would have checked the schedule. In reality, that's not always practical, and a decent companionship would recognize that and make sure you're not penalized exactly because you encountered a jaunt snafu that was out of your hands.

I would go over the head of whoever told you no and push this further.

3. My company is investing in me, but I don’t plan to stay

Before Covid, I was a freelancer in a fast-paced, competitive, and highly artistic subject. Due to my state’s strict lockdown patterns, it is impossible for me to do "whos working" until all restrictions are filched. Even then, the chattering in the field is it could be a while before everyone is fully filled. I acquired a great part-time job working from home with a startup that, while in my wheelhouse, is not included in my realm. I had trouble adjusting to the more corporate aspects of the job, but after six months I am flourishing. I led from part-time to full-time( after aggressively lobbying for it because I needed the money ). Going full-time has intended more responsibility and more to do. That is great, as I are keen to busy.

But recently I have been getting more to do that signals that they are making an investment in me, in the expectation that I will be a long-term employee who will move up and take on a more major character. The difficulty is, I plan to go back to my previous vocation the moment it is an option. I do enjoy the working for me, but this was a stop gap. I am worried that if I signal my intent to leave in the future when my previous vocation becomes an option again, they could trimmed my hours or merely fire me. If it matters, I do reckon I will be in this job for at least another 8-12 months.

Is it wrong of me to continue to take on more responsibility, knowing I will eventually leave? My boyfriend says I shouldn’t say anything, that it will be their problem to supplant me when the time comes. But that feels wrong to me, they gave me a undertaking when no one else was hiring, and it’s the reason we were able to keep our pates above irrigate, and I like and respect everyone there.

Is there a direction signal my intent to eventually leave, without damaging the position I am in now? Most of my contracts in my previous task never lasted more than 6-8 weeks, so this is officially the longest job I have ever had in my adult live. I think that is doing it harder for me. I simply don’t know that the best practice is here. Am I overthinking this?

Nah, it stimulates ability to be concerned that your companionship is expecting something different from you than what you’re planning, and that they’re investing in you based on such a assumption.

But I would not alert them that you plan to leave as soon as you can. They probably wouldn’t fire you, but you’d risk a whole range of other less-than-desirable results, from being lodge with digesting work for the rest of your time there to being at the top of the index if they need to lay beings off. A good fellowship won’t do that in a punitive channel, but it can be the natural make of knowing you’re planning to leave. On top of that, you don’t currently have firm plans for any kind of timeline. No one can say for sure when your aged province will pick back up again or how long it will take for you to get hired where reference is does. And who knows, maybe something will change in the meantime that will determine you decide to stay where you are.

It would be different if you had firm plans to leave in two months. But “I hope to leave in about a year, but the timing is really up in the air” is not something "youre supposed to" share right now.

4. Can my employer become me take a lunch break when I’m working from residence?

I've been working from dwelling for 10 months now, and am hourly.

Currently, hourly works must request to work from residence via an HR app each week. No big deal -- the vast majority of the organization is currently working from dwelling, and the approbation is just a formality. We recently received an HR notification stating that hourly employees will start having to clock in and out electronically, with details forthcoming.

When we were in the department, we were forced to take a half-hour lunch, unpaid. I have not been doing this during this period of succeeding from home. Maybe it will be addressed when login rules are communicated, but I wonder if an employer can enforce you to take an unpaid lunch when you're not on the premises.

Yep, they can require you to take a lunch break even when you’re not on their premises. Some government specifically require employees to ensure that non-exempt works take a lunch break after a certain number of hours of work, even though they are said employees are working from home. But even if your commonwealth doesn’t mandate it, your bos can choose to require it.

But if it's not required in your government, you could tell your manager you’ve discovered you prefer not to take lunch and ask if you could start or goal early so can skip lunch without incurring overtime. Depending on schedules and workflow in its term of office, that might be fine. But ultimately it’s their call.

5. Should I tell my boss I’m dealing with a chronic ache topic?

Over the last month or two, I've developed chronic pain that has required me to miss several days of work. I never know how bad each day will be until I wake up. This grief is centralized on my uterus/ ovaries. I am working with doctors to try and figure out the cause, but diagnosis and therapy can take time.

I dont want to being any of this up to my manager. When I've had to take a random day off every three or four weeks, I'll simply say via email I have a migraine or a stomach glitch. But the sorenes has only been getting worse and I might need more dates off and more frequently.

My manager and I have a friendly relationship. I've been using my allotted sick term and she previously has said I'm top expectations but I am still relatively new( nine months ). I too perturb as anguish associated with menstruation is often just associated with “being a woman.” However, I upset if I don't address this soon, it will become more problematic if I need to take off added time off. When I am working, I'm working slower. I haven't had any issues with projections as my role is relatively adaptable in terms of deliverable dates, but I know I'm only is currently working on about 25 to 50% of what I would normally be doing.

Should I not bringing this up until it becomes more problematic, if it ever does? Should I simply mention that I am dealing with some state the questions and my output may be lower? Should I render more specifics? With Covid, we could only have this talk via phone or email( my firm does not turn our cameras on for any work calls ).

Since it’s ongoing, it’s useful to let your manager know the general situation so that if you impede needing days off or she has noticed you seeming slower, she has some situation for what’s going on. That’s better than her leap to any other conclusions.

But you don’t need to go into detail. You could just say something like this: “I wanted to let you know that I’ve been dealing with a state edition. It's nothing to worry about and I’m working with doctors to figure out how to treat it, but where reference is flares up I will sometimes need a day off or might seem a bit off my customary sport. I don’t need anything in particular right now; I just wanted you to know the situation in case I be brought to an end needing added daytimes off or you notice anything seeming different ."

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my mother-in-law got a job at my company, my new coworker is someone I talked to on a dating app, and more

This post, my mother-in-law got a job at my companionship, my brand-new coworker is person I was just talking to on a dating app, and more, was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

It’s five provide answers to five questions. Here we go...

1. My pushy mother-in-law got a job at my company

Over the summer, I took a errand at a new company. Last-place week my mother-in-law called to announce that she had also gotten a new job ... at the same company. We'll be reporting to the same grandboss, though thankfully not to the same boss.

How on earth do I handle this? I don't think this would be standard even under the best contexts, but my mother-in-law can be very pushy. She really likes large-scale occasions in her adult children's lives( graduations, bridals, relocations, brand-new children) to be conducted according to her preferences. She struggles with borders, and I prefer to be as vague as possible with her about the details of my life because she can be very critical. If she had been working at this fellowship before I started, I would not have applied for the job, but now that I've had it for a few months, I actually don't want to restart a job search during a pandemic. I had no idea that she was even ogling, let alone that she was applying to my current employer.

Also, I'm recently pregnant! My husband and I hadn't planned on recounting either her or our employers about my maternity until the second trimester. I was already dreading the increase of pushiness/ judgment I have appreciated with her other grandchildren ... and now I have to work with her every day. Do you have any advice? Am I crazy for being annoyed that she applied for a position at my work without even a heads-up?

Fortunately, I are now working from dwelling for the foreseeable future. Even before the pandemic, many of my coworkers had negotiated remote office arrangings, and I was explained that my capacity was considered compatible with remote work once in-person parties return.

Updated to add: It is about to change she’s going to be working more with HR and with my direct manager than I previously predicted. I’m not super stimulated about her potentially having access to my recital reviews and this meets me even more wary.

Yeah, this isn’t immense. But the state of grace -- and it’s a big one -- is that you won’t be working with her in-person, because that would open the door for a lot more potential weirdness, especially after you announce your pregnancy.

And yes, it’s odd that she exerted there without telling you. Maybe she devoted before you announced your job there, who knows -- but once it was clear you were working there, it’s surprising that she didn’t tell you.( That said, if it’s a big company and she assumed you wouldn’t have much overlap in your work, it’s less strange .)

Have you talked with your boss about your concerns? A pile of employers would take steps to ensure her act won’t overlap with yours simply because of the family connection, extremely where anything HR-related is concerned. And if you explain it’s important to you to keep as much of a firewall as you realistically can, a good boss will try to help you with that or at least will be straight with you if it’s not going to be possible.( Keep in memory, very, that working with HR doesn’t certainly planned she’ll have access to your recital evaluates; it’ll depend on the specific work she’s doing .)

It could be worth talking with your mother-in-law as well. Obviously it depends on how you think that conversation would go, but in a lot of cases you could talk with a family member about impeding family and working separate, wearing employ hats while you’re at work, and being is cognizant of not sweeping boundaries despite being colleagues.

But a lot of this might be about waiting to see how it goes, and being prepared to shut down anything inappropriate when it first happens so that you’re very clear from the start. For example, if she sends you work IMs about the gestation, you can say, “Oh, I don’t actually talk about it at work. Got to jump on a call right now, have a good day! ” Breezy accepts to engage might be amazingly effective, since when you’re remote she can’t hijack your focus in the way people can when they're right in front of you.

2. My brand-new coworker is person I "ve talked to" on a dating app last year

I am a recent college grad directing my first professional job. I was hired in May, and since March the company has been working remotely with no immediate plans to return to the office. I have one specific coworker who works with me on different facets of the same projects.

Here's my problem: this coworker and I knew each other before I started working here. A few months before I started working here, I matched with “Josh" on a date app. We got along really well, exchanged quantities, and prepared plans to meet up. We texted every day for several weeks, but the working day before we were supposed to get together, I called off the appointment. I was still going over a bad break-up, and I was home from college at the time, so I knew I would have to go back in the next few weeks anyway. He was very understanding and kind about it, and we haven't texted since.

When I was hired, I recalled that Josh worked for the company, but there are hundreds of employees, and I didn't immediately participate his identify anywhere, so I figured he must have found another job in the meantime. Little did I know, he goes by a different, more phonetic mean of his refer at work so as not to confuse patients. So when his position reformed and he participated my squad last-place month, I was first ignorant it was him Our company-provided computers do not have cameras, so I rarely ever ascertain my coworkers' faces. It wasn't until he computed a chart envision to our converse software that I recognized who he was.

When we communicated over the telephone before I recognise this, "weve had" such a good brotherhood, but now I'm insecure about my job performance or anything I might say to him. He has not given any indication that we knew each other before, so I am wondering if he even retains me, and I am doubtful how to address the situation. I wouldn't even generating it up, but I am still interested in him romantically. Our workplace is very young( almost everyone on my unit, my overseer included, are in their 20' s or early 30' s ), and I know that workplace dating is so common that it's a bit of an inside joke in firm culture, so that character wouldn't be taboo.

We have occasionally talked about our personal lives on work announces, but I would really like to rebuild the budding relation we might have had. However, we do still have to work in direct contact with each other, and I am worried he no longer feels the same way about me as he did a year ago. I still have his cell phone number, but I'm too apprehensive to actually text him again. How can I stop feeling touchy about this? Do I bring up the fact that we've talked before? Do I attempt more overtly dreamy preludes? Or do I just leave everything as is and hope he draws it up, or even forget about these feelings wholly?

Well, if I can give some unsolicited dating suggestion: I would not recommend thinking of yourself as having dreamy feelings for someone you texted with for a few weeks a year ago but never met in person. Certainly some people do carry on long-term liaisons before they ever gratify, but when you’re talking about a few weeks of texting, it’s easy for your knowledge to fill in the blanks about what the person is really like and you can end up invested in an idea of someone that doesn’t match the reality.( This was in fact the cardinal rule of online date from the date admonition blog I used to run years and years ago in my youth .)

Of course, you are aware of him better than good from your work bawls! All I’m saying is, don’t put too much value on the texting from last year.

Anyway. Back to this blog. Don’t attempt an exceedingly dreamy gesture with a coworker. Work just isn’t the place for that. But you could say something like, “I exactly realized we texted one another for a few cases weeks about a year ago, before I working here, and didn’t meet up because I was about to go back to college. If you ever want to have that boozing, let me know! But simply continuing to discuss the Jones account is good too, of course.” I wouldn’t say this on one of your summons since that applies him on the spot and requires an immediate answer; an asynchronous technique like email or verse would be better. And of course, you've got to be prepared for a no( who were able to because he doesn’t want to pursue anything with a peer/ isn’t dating right now/ has a partner/ lost interest) so don't say it unless you trust yourself not to oblige things tense or odd if that happens, extremely since you’ll have to keep having contact with him.

3. I’m besieged with is asking for my go, despite having organized a cluster of resources to answer questions

I'm a very well-known entrepreneur in a very popular field in my region. As it prospered during the COVID era, there are more and more beings wishing to switch into this field every day. I consider this a great thing, and I have acquired myself very helpful and affable- I have created informative folders, Facebook groups, impounded lectures to university student interested in this field, etc ., etc.

But lately, it's getting SO exhausting. People are constantly emailing me with questions that could easily be found in absolutely any of the free cloths that I have created; they are asking for " speedy " phone calls to get information, and it's even spreading and it's really starting to take a toll on my occasion and mental health.

I don't know how to stop. I very much ethic my work and my approachability and it has so far resulted in some huge business opportunities, but it is not possible to continue this way. Still, I feel very, very rude for saying no or drawn attention to a folder. Any the recommendations on how to stop without feeling awful?

It’s utterly okay -- and often necessary -- to give limits on how you deplete your time, which for well-known and/ or hectic people often conveys saying no to seeks. It’s not rude to do that! I symbolize, it’s possible to get it on in a rude course, of course, but you don’t sound like you’re at risk of that.

What numerous people do is have a kind of form letter response that there is an opportunity copy and adhesive, modifying as needed to fit the situation. For example: “I’m really encouraged to see the growing interest in the X discipline! My schedule means that I can’t say yes to every satisfy asking I receive or I would never get to see my family, but because I is a lot of inquiries like this I’ve procreated textiles that answer the most common questions I hear.( Link to reserve .) I hope that helps, and good luck! ”

More here and here.

4. We’re hiring someone else with my job title -- what does it mean for me?

This week my boss announced they would be hiring someone with the same job title as me. They didn’t use explanatory names like “additional” or “replacement” so I don’t know what this means for me. I’ve been fighting lately and I guess I was sickened by this announcement since I had not heard nothing about it, despite being very honest with my challenges. Do you think this is a bad sign or just an omission and I should be indebted?

You can expect! I’d say it this channel: “I wanted to ask about the search for another rice sculptor. When this person is hired, will that change anything about my character? ”

It’s possible this is an additional person to take on some of the exertion, or it’s possible they’ll have totally different projects than you. It’s also possible they’re looking for a replacement in case you don’t work out, since you’ve been striving. A respectable administration wouldn’t do it this lane, without is speaking to you about it, but it’s not impossible. Asking about how the capacity will meet with yours will get you more info.( If they’re seeing this person as a possible substitution for you and they’re shady, they won’t certainly tell you that -- but you’ll still get some penetration from raising the question.

5. Mentioning personal adversity in a cros letter

I’m a recent grad on the job hunt so I’ve been writing tons of treat letters. Some of the organizations I’m applying for are nonprofits that deal with poverty and bordering publishes. One of the above reasons I’m interested in the office they do is due to family history -- precisely growing up in an immigrant family that known privation( fortunately, that time in "peoples lives" has now passed ). In a few cases clothe letters, I have mentioned this personal experience as part of explains why I’m interested in the wreak. I’m wondering what your take is on this, in terms of if it’s appropriate to spend time in a embrace letter discussing personal adversity as it is related to the organization's work, or if that’s seen as too personal or something? This kind of thing absolutely flies in college applications, but I’ m not as sure for position applications.

For nonprofits, it’s really common for embrace letters to say something personal about why the person connects to the organization's mission. Don’t spend a ton of time on it -- the majority of members of your character should still be about why you’d do a very good job in the role -- but one to three convicts, absolutely.

Even outside of nonprofits, there can be room for it if you’re applying to do work that is in some way connected to a social assignment or working with a specific population or so forth.

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coworker keeps buying me gifts, explaining a surrogacy pregnancy, and more

This post, coworker prevents buying me gifts, justifying a surrogacy gestation, and more, was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go...

1. My coworker won’t stop buying me gifts

I work in a moderately unwound bureau atmosphere. I have a coworker who is much older than me who reckons of me as a grandchild. She has some fus hear new organisations, so I often have to help her out. She enjoys when I help her out because, in her utterances," You know I'm aged , not fucking stupid ."

She's nice enough, and does things like buys donuts for everyone in the morning and spreads shifts other people don't want to do. There's one thing she does that drives me nuts. During handiwork, communications will turn to other things. Somehow, Velveeta came up when talking about building inexpensive nachos. The next day, she brought in a huge package of the stuff and gave it to me," as a joke ." I thanked her and took it dwelling. That might have been a mistake.

I casually mentioned to another coworker that I detest mustard, and the next day I get a small jar of mustard" as a joke ." I told her to please stop buying me nonsense, and to use it herself since I won't use it.

More recently, we sought pizza. Someone asked if they'd mind if they get half olives, and I said I'd devour a couple of slice. Next date, full pot of olives.

I thought I made it clear the last time that I don't want any knacks from her," as a joke" or otherwise. But it seems to be getting worse. She wants to buy pairing t-shirts for everyone in our agency. Nobody asked for or wants this, but she has been "guessing" our sizings by looking at us. Is there anything more I can do, or am I stay with food and invests until she retires?

Oh no. She’s trying to be nice, and inducing parties embarrassing in the process.( Guessing people’s sizes by looking at them ?!)

The next time she gives you a talent, I'd try saying," I don’t truly enjoy meat offerings, and I can’t abode any more of them. I hope you can use it yourself! ” And then physically entrust it back to her. Put it on her desk if there is a need. Doing that once or twice will probably make this stop but if it doesn’t, then say, “Please stop buying me things -- I won’t use them, and it spawns me disagreeable when you restrain doing it.” If you feel embarrassing saying that and the only way you’ll do it is with some soothing conversation, you could included “you’re kind to think of me, but...”( Ideally you wouldn’t said because it’s actually not kind for her to ignore your applications -- but a lot of people won’t say it at all if there’s not a course to make it feel nicer. So, optional dampen communication .)

And if she hinders up the guessing sport on immensities, I hope you’ll say, “Hey, please stop guessing people’s sizes. No one wants their own bodies analyse like that.”

2. Explaining to patients that I’m pregnant with someone else’s babies

I currently work in a job where I working in collaboration with consumers regularly in what used to be in-person satisfies and is now either Zoom or phone calls. This swap happened in March and actually came at a great time for me personally because in August I got pregnant with someone else's children. I was actually grateful because I could get pregnant without having to discuss it with any of my patients. Many of my purchasers would likely be congratulatory and then I would have to explain the surrogacy and I know from experience that people can have negative sentiments on the subject.

Unfortunately, it is currently ogles as if, for several rationales, buyer confronts and even some important fits on behalf of the members of patrons will have to take place in the new year RIGHT around the time I will be absolutely vast. I should be noted I am pregnant with numerous , not only one child, and the relevant recommendations of hiding it is now laughable.

What advice, if any, do you have for how to handle( a) current patrons who we have longstanding relationships with and( b) engagements with important chassis on behalf of consumers?

I should mention that I will be able to do some of these by phone or practically due to safety concerns with COVID, but there will be a few that are unavoidable. So the idea of merely literally sounding out of all of these meetings is not an option.

If you can, one option is to merely approving the congratulations and move things along. But that may not work because( a) beings may try to draw you into further conversation about it, and( b) beings may then ask about the newborns in a few months and it might be weirder to explain at that point. Assuming that’s the dispute, you’re probably best off exactly being cheerfully matter-of-fact as soon as that is quite clear -- as in, “Oh, I’m carrying the children for another family” or “I’m actually doing a surrogacy” or whatever terminology you’re pleasant with and then change the subject.( “How are you doing? It sounds like your conference in London was a huge hit.”) If anyone pushes, you could go with a sunny, “It’s a long story but everything’s large and I’m thrilled to be doing it” and then change the subject again.

If someone has a problem with surrogacy( wtf ), they are able to hopefully have the smell to keep that to themselves in a business context. If they don’t, feel free to give look muddled or taken aback and then pointedly launch into the work reasons for the meeting.

3. Should I apply for a responsibility I’m not fully qualified for?

Can I are valid for a position that I do not have 100% of academic qualifications for?

The role is in media/ market/ disposal which I am qualified for and have years of experience in, but it is also in a specific scientific field which I have high-pitched those who are interested in but no professional suffer. The role "wouldve been" managing the media/ commerce place of the number of jobs and nothing else, they would like the person to be familiar with the terminology, etc.

I received the open position due to my big interest in this field. It "wouldve been" is comparable to( for example) following a giraffe relief group via their social media and website, and they are hiring a media driven foundation person who has a degree in giraffe zoology studies. I don’t have the zoology stage but enjoy giraffes since infancy, study about them and has already been of the other professional requirements. Is it inappropriate for me to apply? If it’s acceptable for me to apply, is there a recommended channel to explain my interest in the include symbol perhaps?

Please apply! No one will be affronted if you are valid for a occupation you aren’t a perfect is suitable for -- parties do it all the time. Some of them be brought to an end get hired! And the ones who don’t aren’t blacklisted or lay in a" Can You Speculate The Audacity ?" enter or anything like that. The worst that will happen is they’ll rebuff you.

Job ads are often like wish lists -- they’re the employer’s idea of a dream candidate. The person they ultimately hire often won’t completely fulfill that wish list. As a general rule, if you’re truly interested in a job and you gratify 80% of the qualifications and can point to evidence illustrate you’d excel at it, go ahead and apply.( The objection is if you don’t assemble a requirement that they make clear is really central to the work .) There’s a longer explanation of this here.

And then yes, the coating character! Cover notes are always important, but they’re especially so when you’re applying for a task where you don’t encounter all the qualifications. That’s the place where you explain why you’d excel at the job anyway and why you’re interested in it, and that's especially important when your resume alone might not offset the instance. A really good cover letter can take you from the "maybe" collection to the "let's talk to this one" pile.

4. Mentioning 2020 ’s challenges in conduct reviews

Should I talk about the difficulties involved in doing good work in 2020 in my performance evaluation? I imagine I actually did really excellent work this past year despite the pandemic and a natural disaster that left my home( where I cultivate 40 -8 0% of the time) without capability or internet for 2 weeks. I'm a engineering trainer for a hospital organization, so there were obviously lots of tight and urgent timelines for creating resources to support COVID needs. I too got a lot of privilege in that my child was able to go to daycare( the daycare only closed for a week last year, and that was because of the environmental disasters , not the pandemic ), so I didn't have nearly the same challenges some coworkers with school-age adolescents had. Is it fair to be submitted by that I did really good work in spite of the mess that was 2020? Or should I focus on the accomplishments and ignore the fact that I accomplished some of them on mobile data relating to a generator powered laptop?

Definitely talk about the challenges! Think of it this mode: if your project’s budget had been trounced or an avalanche had stopped your big gala or some other non-pandemic challenge had occurred and you’d managed to get immense solutions despite it, you’d mention that, right? Same thing here. Describing the unexpected challenges that affected your assignments makes your work in context.

You’re right have known that you didn’t have the same challenges as other coworkers did, but you’re not saying “look at me, expanding in Covid while everyone else flounders” -- you’re saying “challenges A and B passed and I labor around them in C ways to achieve D and E ."

5. Relocating for a task during the pandemic

Maybe this is a good question to ask your books. I am eventually appreciating undertaking posts again but I'm really attentive about taking a job in a brand-new part of the country during the pandemic. I wonder how other beings are managing to safely move to a new point for a new job, or if everyone is restricting their job search to nearby locations.

Let’s throw this one out to readers for input!

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